My Tickers

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Thoughtful Thursday.....

I have these saddle bags sitting on my butt/hips area, they bother me because I have had them ever since my bedrest with Orion and I can't seem to get rid of them. I eat less, they grow, I eat more, they grow, I try walking, snowboarding, dieting, drinking gallons of water, but nothing seems to be able to remove these things off my backside. Then today I did a search on the internet, thinking maybe there's something I've missed, maybe there's a secret to removing saddlebags....what I found made me LOL because it took me back to my childhood when I used to laugh at my mother.

See mother had this suit, we all called it the "moon suit" it was some kind of almost plastic material and it was silver/grey. It was supposed to make her sweat and lose weight....mother was a chunky one and she was often making minor attempts to trim down. Perhaps she was bored of the men she already had and wanted to attract someone new, I don't know, but whatever her reason she would put on this suit and she would look like a big silver/grey blob walking around the house day and night! We all laughed at her because we knew she was hopeless! She didn't really try too hard....she sat on that big bottom whenever possible, made the kids do the housework and yardwork, and the biggest sweat she ever broke was probably when she was beating us or yelling at us or dragging us by the hair on our heads to toss us into the closet. She didn't watch what she ate, she drank straight cream in her coffee (and lots of it I might add), she was not health concious in the least bit! BUT that suit was going to fix her and if anyone touched it, oh my what a beating you would get for that offense! That was a HUGE no-no!

So when I saw that ad for a "sweat suit" I had to laugh because she was actually stupid enough to believe the hype and thought that wearing that silly looking suit around the house was going to make her lose weight! Thank goodness I know better and know that all you would lose is water and although you would lose a litttle weight when you lost that water, you would most certianly not see the truly desired results in the end!

Speaking of my stupid mother...and yes I fully believe I have every right to call her stupid, if you don't think that's nice then go read another blog because when it comes to my mother she doesn't deserve any niceness at all! You won't find that lovey dovey I'm thankful for all my mother did for me crap here, I envy the people who can feel that way about their I can not! I talk to older sister #3 a lot about our childhood, we help each other deal with all the crap and figure out ways to get beyond the worst of it, but when we do mention her we simply call her "The egg donor" Honestly I think I might actually start using that on here because that's all she really was, she wasn't really much of a mother at all unless you could use this definition I found just the other day on Google....seriously funny story here:

So I was trying to figure out how to describe the egg donor and how she was not much of a mother. I went to Google and typed into the search box "definition of mother" Google changed that to "define:mother" the second definition made me totally laugh out loud!

Definitions of mother on the Web:

•a woman who has given birth to a child (also used as a term of address to your mother); "the mother of three children"

•a stringy slimy substance consisting of yeast cells and bacteria; forms during fermentation and is added to cider or wine to produce vinegar

OMG I totally found the definition for my mother LMAO A stringy slimy totally cracks me up whenever I read it or think about it. I think it fits her perfectly, sounds disgusting and nasty...just like my egg donor!


Well you be sure to have a great weekend, the warmer weather is approaching and I can get back out to walk the dog and maybe get rid of my saddlebags or at least make them a little smaller lol Have fun with your kids and try hard to not be a "mother"

I also wanted to add a couple of pictures from last of me and Orion at the fireplace's actually the same photo twice here but I liked the antique look so I'm posting's my blog I'll do what I like lol The other one is just Orion but I simply love it! He is such a handsome boy if I do say so myself :)

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