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Thursday, August 27, 2009

Thoughtful Thursday

We didn't always have running water or heat or electricity when I was a kid, my mother often failed to pay the bills and so we would lose out on some of the basic needs in life. The running water problem was often a winter time issue because the pipes would freeze in the frigid Vermont winters. At these times we would have to share some basic things like bath water.
A little history here concerning baths...we were only allowed 1 bath a week each, there were no if's, and's or but's about it (that's what my mother would always say) Me, being the youungest of 7 children...yeah you guessed it...I was always the LAST to get a bath! Now imagine, if you will for one (rather disgusting moment) melting snow in a pot on top of a pot belly wood stove to get the water warm for a bath...or rather a series of baths. We would melt the snow, dump the water into the tub, melt another pot, so on and so forth until the tub was full. Then big brother number 1 got in, followed by big brother number 2, followed by big sister number 1, big sister number 2, big brother number 3, big sister number 3 then finally ME. EWWWWWWWWWW yes, I had to take many cold baths in the same water as the 6 older siblings. Gradually those numbers went down....big brother number 1 moved out, big sister number 1 ran away, big brother number 2 eventually left and so by the time I was 9 it was down to 4 of us and if I was lucky (and the others were fast) I MIGHT get a luke-warm bath and the water was only some-what disgusting. I might even come out feeling half clean.
another problem with no running water...yep you guessed toilet flushing! Seriously we would have to melt snow to pour into the toilet to get it to flush. Now this often happened after a few of us had used the toilet and we lived by the rule of "if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown melt and flush it down" If the stove wasn't lit it had to sit no matter the color until the stove was ready to melt some snow. We also had problems with affording toilet paper and yes I did learn to wipe on a sears magazine! Tear a page out, tear it in 1/2 then wipe and make sure it goes in the trash barrel and NOT into the toilet where it would clog up the pipes! Yeah our home was pretty gross to say the least! To this day I don't allow Sears magazines to enter my house! Just seeing one makes me cringe and makes my butt sore! You think 1 ply toilet paper at the Walmart restroom is bad, try a sears magazine and you'll have a whole different perspective!
That was a generalization of life back then for's something specific!
I remember very clearly the first time I swore in front of my mother. Granted, I half deserved my punishment...I was mad at her for hitting me all the time and asked her "Why are you such a BITCH?" Yep I was about 5 years old and I should not have used such a word! Anyway, upon hearing that come out of my mouth I was dragged by the hair of my head to the bathroom where mother discovered there was no more soap, so I was dragged by the hair of my head to the kitchen where there was a bottle of liquid lemon scented Joy. She pulled my hair until I screamed then proceeded to squeeze the bottle and pour the soap down my throat! I choked, I gagged, I spit it out and got more. I puked and was forced to eat it because that was my punishment for calling my mother a bitch!
From that day forward I called her "A witch with a capital B" and never to her face. I wouldn't even say the B word again. To this day, if I say the B word I can taste the soap and then the vomited soap and trust me it was NOT a good flavor! Lemon scented is NOT lemon flavored and in case you were wondering...Joy is not allowed in my house. Once I asked hubby to pick up some detergent so I could wash some pots that were too big to fit into the dishwasher and he brought that stuff went straight back and I exchanged it for something different because I can't abide by it! If we stay at a hotel with a kitchenette in the room and it has Joy, I'll wash the dishes with shampoo before I will touch the stuff and the Joy goes directly into the nearest trash can...I just can't have it around me!
Well I'm off for the weekend, gotta make it the biggest and bestest of the entire summer since the boy goes back to school starting Tuesday the 1st. I don't know how he managed to grow up so fast and become a 4th grader...hell I remember 4th grade myself! My teacher was Mrs. Kawaski and she was AWESOME! Hopefully Mrs. Montana (no her first name is not Hannah lol) is as wonderful to my son as Mrs. Kawaski was to me :)

Sunday, August 23, 2009

As of the shirt pillows

Here's Orion with his new shirt true form I couldn't pick just one to post lol

Yep, he's one happy little man right now!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Mom wins brownie points

Yep I got COOL MOM Brownie Points today and all it cost me was about 10 bucks and a few hours of my time!
You see Orion has these t-shirts that he has picked up from different mountains he's snowboarded at Burke, Sunday River and Sugar Loaf. The problem is that he LOVES the t-shirts but when he tries to wear them he looks like Jethro Bodene (ya know from the Clampets) He wanted to keep them but they were just too small for him so Mom got this creative idea to turn them into throw pillows for him. I stitched up the arms and neck (by hand since the machine is broke), stuffed em with fiberfill and now he has some fun throw pillows for his room and his t-shirts are safe and sound from being thrown out or given away. I'll have to take some pictures to show off my handiwork...I'm now the proud mom to one very happy boy!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Thoughtful Thursday

So here we are, it's Thursday and time for me to lay my thoughts out on the table.


I've come to the conclussion that I can only hash out the memories of my childhood so much, it's tiring and makes me quite exhausted! I hate thinking about it, and although I know it's good to recognize what has happened in your life and learn something from the pain, I also feel like it's all just one bad story after another. And then after I realize this and I realize it's important to share that pain so those who also suffer can see that it is possible to get beyond the pain and it is possible to recover and NOT repeat the cycle. It is hard to talk about it though, it's hard on so many levels, but my biggest problem with this is one simple thing....I tried this before with a mommy board and it caused me so much pain it's not even funny! I was a member of this mommy board for years, talked to these same women for years, watched their babies grow into toddlers and big kids and they watched mine do the same. We became what we could call "close cyber-friends" never having met face to face and only seeing pictures of each others families. They claimed to be good christian women, people who were supposed to be loving and kind. I talked to them on the phone, even talked to their children on the phone and their stories were believable. Then one day I mentioned my rough childhood a little, they wanted to know more. We created an online journal room where only the closest in the group could see so that new-comers wouldn't be able to see the deepest parts of our lives, things we would normally only share with a friend. So I started talking, I started telling them some of my stories, I started to open up and share with them my pain and suffering as I have done on here. At first it was all good, a lot of "I'm so sorry you had to suffer so" "I'll pray for you" and other sympathetic things. But then one of them (no one ever admitted to doing it but I have my suspicions) took one of my posts and mass e-mailed it to a bunch of people she knew. She called me a freak, she laughed at my pain, she said that she didn't believe a word of it and that I was just seeking attention. The e-mail was also "accidentally" sent to me. I put that in quotes because I don't believe for one minute it was a mistake or an accident, they did that on purpose to cause me even greater pain I am sure. I was hurt and I called my so-called friend, I cried to her and she tried to comfort me telling me it was horrible and she couldn't believe anyone would do such a thing. A couple weeks later I was banned from the board for no reason what-so-ever. I just so happened knew the main administrators password (having been a co-admin and main design person for the board) so I logged in under her name thinking that MAYBE it was a mistake. She had her account set up to pop up any PM's she had so as soon as I logged in her PM's (that's private messages if you're wondering) popped up and there it was in black and white. She had sent messages to others telling them I was a liar, that I made up the stories from my past and that she didn't believe a word of what I had said in that forum. She was the so-called friend, the so-called christian I had called, yet here she was talking that way about me. She said one thing to my face while plotting behind my back with others to have me banned from her board and hurt me as much as humanly possible.

And so I sit here today debating whether or not it's safe to type out the words in my heart, to type out my thoughts. You see stories on the TV all the time of people abusing their kids, killing their kids, driving them into lakes, going the wrong way in traffic etc. Do they not believe those stories either? Is that just the media wanting attention? Do they really believe that everyone lives in this perfect little world where kids are wanted and loved by both parents and never sexually assaulted, beaten or neglected? Or perhaps they just don't want to see the evil in the world and therefore only see what their little minds allow them to see. I don't know what it is, but I will probably never go onto another mommy board again and let people see anything other than what is in the here and now, because my past is what it is, it made me who I am, but I refuse to let people call me a liar and tell me what did or did not happen to me as a child.

With all that said, I think this week I'll take a break from my childhood memories, I'll post another story next week, but this week, for some reason, it's just not happening for me so I won't push it.


Another thought in my head this week is my sweet hubby :)

Yesterday we planned a surprise for Orion, we had planned to take him to WaterWhizz again but not tell him. The plan was to take him out to breakfast and then tell him that Daddy was going to come shopping with us at BJ's and be helpful. We generally do our shopping on Wednesdays so it would not really catch Orion off guard, we figured we would get on the highway like usual and just kind of miss the exit lol

At the exit Orion starts asking why we weren't there yet, he had seen the exit, just didn't notice that we didn't get off it. He asked what was taking so long since it usually only takes a minute after getting off the exit to get to BJ's. We told him that Garmin (the gps) told us to keep going and maybe it knew a different way. He shrugged it off and went back to looking out the window. As we finally got off the exit he really questioned us because he could see the big bridge that goes over the canal and knew we were down near the at this point we broke the news and told him we weren't really going which he started bouncing in the seat and laughing and woohooing! He was thrilled with the surprise.

As we pulled up to the place we realized that we had figured the opening time wrong (weekdays they open a little later) so we drove down to the local Walmart, bought some new sunblock and walked around and then headed back. In the time it took us to do that the place became packed! There was a line at the entry gate that reminded me of a rock concert...probably a good hour if not longer wait to just walk in the we opted to leave and not do that. So as we drove away I suggested the beach (since we were already all the way down to the cape cod canal anyway) and hubby agreed it was a good plan. We found a great beach where parking was only 7 bucks and we had a blast! Orion dug in the sand, hubby an I had some good long conversation without interuption and everyone left feeling happy and content. It was nice to have a good conversation with hubby :)

Of course you're probably wondering why this all would make me think about how sweet he is??? Yeah I thought's coming don't worry :)

At one point we walked out into the water and it was COLD water lol It was 95+ degrees outside so the ocean water felt extra cold but refreshing...but still tough to walk into. At one point I spotted this shiny white rock under the water...the water was so clear you could see everything and this rock just stood out! It was an amazingly bright white perfect quartz rock and I really wanted it...but I didn't want to go all the way under to get it. So I begged and pleaded with hubby and he (being the awesome sweet hubby that he is) went under into the cold depths of the ocean to grab me one little rock! It's now sitting here on my desk, a reminder of what a great guy I have that he'll brave the freezing ocean just for me :) Am I lucky or what?


So ladies...I hope you have a great weekend :) Take some time to look at the people you love and if you're lucky enough to be married to a great guy (or even a not so great guy) find a new reason to fall in love all over's totally worth it and very refreshing to say the least!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

I've been tagged

I've been tagged by Jennie to name 6 things I love and that make me happy, she tagged me a few days ago, I just didn't realize it so here goes :)


First and foremost my son Orion! He is my A-Number 1 little man that makes me smile on my worst days and makes everything clear! How could anyone not love this face


A close second would be my hubby...he's my rock, my corner stone, my foundation. He's everything I could want in a man and more! He makes me happy and shows me unconditional love even when I don't feel I deserve it, he's one heck of a guy for sure!

Third...definately COFFEE! Gotta have my junk, as a matter of fact, if I don't have it you don't even want to be near me, I'm a complete bear without my morning coffee...just ask my hubby or Orion, they'll agree 100% if I don't have coffee, it's not a good plan to even speak to me lol
~~~~~~~~~~ work. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. I love my job...I work from home on a schedule that I set around my life on a weekly basis. If something comes up and I need to cancel out I problems, no hassles. If I want to take a vacation I just don't schedule myself to work, it's that simple. I only have to make sure I take at least 1 call in a 42 day period to keep my contract with the company. I get to be a stay at home mom and still make some money to help the family have's really a pretty sweet deal IMO!
5th I love my pets...yes they drive me crazy sometimes (so do my husband and son and I still love them lol) but they are super sweet and cuddly and if I'm not feeling well they always nudge me and lay down with me and try to help me feel better. They love me unconditionally and always happily greet me when I walk in the door...especially the big 96 pound black lab named Gig. We have 5 cats, the dog and now the new teddy bear hamster as well. The hamster is still warming up to us, but he's getting more social and I'm sure in no time he'll appreciate the hand that feeds him just like the other animals in the house.
finally my brothers and sisters...although we are all separated by many miles and we never see each other there is a bond that will forever be there. We are mutual survivors, we have a bond and we have a love that is deeper than those miles that keep us apart. We have all seen sorrow and pain, we have all suffered at our mothers hand and we have all come out all the stronger.

So there you have it! Those are 6 of the many things that make me happy! Here are the ones that I am tagging!
1. Sandi
OK ladies go tell me what you love and what makes you happy!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thoughtful Thursday

The recent death of Orions pet has taken me back to a beloved pet I once had

Her name was Mitsy and she was my best friend! I loved my Mitsy with all my heart and sadly when I was about Orions age I lost her and it's all my mothers fault! See Mitsy had to live outdoors in a doghouse, she had to stay outdoors rain or shine, snow or heatwave, she was not allowed in the house. One cold winter day the weatherman warned that it was going to be the coldest night in years, he warned to bring all pets indoors, to not be outdoors yourself, that everyone should seek shelter and warmth. I begged, I pleaded, I cried "Please Mama she'll freeze to death!" The answer was a resounding NO! I asked if she could let her stay in the dirt basement, it would be warmer than the outdoors...the answer again was a resounding NO! All night I cried, I knew I would never see my Mitsy again.

The following morning I went to her doghouse, there she lay...frozen and dead! I had to say good-bye to my beloved Mitsy all because of a cold hearted woman wouldn't let her come in from the coldest night in years.


"Mom why does everything have to cost so much?"

That's a question I am asked quite often and it usually makes me laugh...I don't know why everything costs so much but I agree with the kid when he says it's just too much to ask $2.75 for a gallon of gas! I swore I would NEVER EVER say this yet I find the words tumbling out of my mouth...

"I remember when......"

I remember when you could pull up to the pump, ask for $1 worth and actually be able to drive away without an empty tank still.

I remember when you could walk down to the local general store (alone or with only siblings) pick up bottles along the way (big ones were actually 10 cents, the cans were still 5 cents) and buy a buttload of candy with the money from the redemptions. I also remember the counter at said general store full of jars of stick candy, fireballs and tootsie rolls, etc for only 1 or 2 cents a piece!

I remember when coke was only a drink, not something you snorted up your nose and if you did snort it up your nose it was because something hillarious happened when you were in mid-sip

I remember rubbing baby oil all over my body in an attempt to get the best tan possible in the fastest manner possible. Who would have thought that you would actually want to BLOCK the sun????

I remember when the music you listened to came on vinyl and it was fun to listen to it on 78 speed where everything sounded like it was being sung by the Chipmunks. I also remember our car having an 8 track player in it..not a multi-disk changer or mp3 player!

I remember when kids entertained themselves with only their dolls, trucks, sticks and imaginations...there was no such thing as a DS, xBox or wii and certianly nothing like the internet!

I remember when the only phone you had was connected to the wall by a cord, the receiver was also connected by a cord and if someone was on the line when you called you heard the beep beep beep of a busy signal.

And finally....

I remember when I swore that I would NEVER say I remember was everytime I heard my mother say something like "I remember when a loaf of bread was a nickel" lol I guess that'll teach me to listen better when people tell me to "Never say never"


And so ends another Thoughtful Thursday. May anyone who reads this have a wonderful weekend and remember the next time the weatherman says it's gonna be rough on the animals and to bring them's a good idea to listen or your kids will remember and resent you FOREVER!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Good-bye Lightening

Orions little white mouse named Lightening went to be with her sister Zap this morning. Zap had passed away last winter. Orion had bought the 2 together about 2 to 2 1/2 years ago at the pet store with his allowance and loved them both very much. He often played with them, ran them in their ball and around his room. Lightening held out longer than Zap only because I was allergic to them and until we could find a solution I had placed them in the basement away from the main living got too cold and Zap was found laying on top of Lightening to keep her warm....Lightening with the help of heating pads, warm water and lots of love and attention from Orion came back from the brinks of death, Zap was too far gone. I found a solution to my allergy online (glass tank instead of an open wire cage) and Lightening lived upstairs from that moment on. This morning we found her looking very tired and worn out and when we offered her pretzels (her favorite snack) she merely carried it to the corner, laid it down and then walked away. We knew she was going to die, she never passes up a pretzel! She lay in Orions hands while she faded, he petted her and sang to her and loved on her until her last breath. Then we put her in a tea box and laid her to rest in the ground outside behind the garage.
And incase your wondering....yes Lightening and Zap were named after the old school Gladiator Girls lol If you're my age you probably remember the Gladiators of the 80's....yep he likes the old show better and he named his mice after the 2 best ones.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

The good and the bad of "Adderrall vacations"

At Orions med-check in May the pediatrician told me we need to get Orions weight up, He had grown quite a bit but hadn't put on a single pound.....all because adderral makes you lose your appetite and not eat. Orion will go all day and eat only a couple of forced bites of a sandwich for lunch, no snacks, no desire to eat at all. The pediatrician suggested we try giving him med vacations over the summer so he would eat food and gain some weight. Give him fattening food like donuts and ice cream, things that would make my hips grow at warp speed. So that is what we have done. I'll admit that somedays I simply can not deal with the hyperactivity, I can't take the level of energy he has so I have to give him meds so he'll actually listen and hear the words I say. I'll also admit that every Wednesday he takes a dose of meds so he bowls better for league and keeps us in the top 5, but for the most part I have been trying to let him have more days of no meds and just having fun as a kid in summer. When it rains for days on end, yes he gets meds...I like to keep my house resembling a home and not something Hurricane Orion took out. When he has meds he listens, he's a good helper around the house, he's fun to be around and I can keep up with him like an average everyday kind of parent, when he doesn't have's a whole different story.

Today, I let him go without, but today he also went to a birthday party. It was a 4 hour outdoor playing in the water kind of party so I thought he would be ok....turns out he's the only kid who got spoken to because he was nailing the other kids with water balloons when he wasn't supposed to and he had to have a little sit down. That's the downside of adderrall kid will be the one kid who gets out of control at the party......I wonder what he'll be like in another 10 or 12 years when he's in college at a party.....hmmmmm do I dare imagine???? I don't think so!!!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Thoughtful Thursday...........

Thank you Sweet Mama Jones for giving a good topic for this week :)

This is actually a memory of when I was 6 or 7 years always makes me laugh, makes me smile, it was the day my mother was struck by lightening. No I am not a sicko, so take that thought right out of your head...I think it was the wrath of God trying to punish her , it was mother natures justice, it didn't kill her so it's all good.

See it was a rainy thundering day and mother decided for some reason she needed to go out and move the picnic table off the grass. I don't know why but she simply had to so she goes out there in the thunder and lightening and I had to watch from the front step praying (in my evil little head) for her to get hit. The rain poured down hard (it would have been termed raining cats and dogs) she was soaking wet, her long brown hair hanging down her back in into her face, plastered to her skin. Her clothing was soaked yet she dragged that picnic table off the grass, then I heard the boom of the thunder and looked up into the sky as this big bolt came down from the sky and suddenly my mother was no longer holding onto the table, but was instead standing frozen glowing with light. She shook a bit then dropped to the ground and did not move. I yelled to my brother "I think mom is dead!" and he laughed, literally he laughed. I think he thought I was joking at first, but I really did think she was dead. It had been kind of comical looking and inspite the drastic scene I did find myself giggling a little. A part of me was scared...what would happen to us now? Another part was rejoicing...kind of like the munchkins in the Wizard of Oz...the evil witch was dead. Of course it turned out she wasn't dead, she had a pulse and she survived to beat me another day, but that day she didn't have the energy nor did she muster the energy for a couple of weeks. I enjoyed my vacation from hell.

Another funny memory of my mother...since I'm working on her misfortunes that made me giggle...was when a bird crapped on her head! I don't want to use the "sh word", I'm being polite and using kid talk lol Anyway, it was a nice summer day, I think I was maybe 5 and we were all sitting around the picnic table when this bird flew overhead. Mother fwlt something hit her in the head and we al saw this black-n-white blob on top of her head dripping down the side, she puts her hand up to feel it and starts yelling and cursing....we kids burst out laughing it was totally AWESOME!!! Mother nature sure knew how to dish it out.
BTW, for even better laughs, it happened again when I was about 10, totally cool! What are the chances of having a bird crap on your head twice in your lifetime??

I'm running late for work so I gotta cut this one short. Tomorrow we're taking Orion off to the beach for the day and I will try to get pictures to share...won't be taking the digital (salt water and digital cameras don't mix) but I'm sure I'll be able to convince hubby to get one of those water proof disposables so we can remember the day on photo paper.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy weekend and is what you make of it so make something yummy covered in chocolate :)

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

An update on Stellan and other thoughts

Thought you might like a little update on Stellan...the little boy with the rapidly beating heart...well he's doing AMAZING! He never ended up coming to Boston, he actually started responding to a completely new and different drug and his little heart slowed down enough that they sent him home. He will eventually need to come to Boston for the surgery to repair his heart, but now they can try to wait until he is bigger and/or older. He is on daily doses of heart meds to keep his heart beating properly, but he is home and doing well.


I have the best husband in the seriously I do! We've been together for over 18 years now and he still amazes me. I come from a prettty rough background, thus I bring into our relationship A LOT OF BAGGAGE! I am sure that I am not the easiest person to live with on my best days, yet he's still here, still loves me and still hugs and kisses me good night every night. Don't get me wrong....we fight and we fuss like cats and dogs at times but any good relationship has that....I personally think that if you truly care you will fight, the ones you don't fight with are the ones you really don't care all that much about losing...JMO but it sounds good doesn't it?

Back to hubby...he takes really good care of me, makes me smile and makes me laugh. He is my solid rock when I need one, never soft sand. I am actually amazed that he puts up with me and my emotional turmoil that I can only compare to an emotional hurricane or tornado! As you may have seen in my Flashy Fridays and Thoughtful Thursdays my life before was not pretty and that is what creates such turmoil for me. He is strong, weathers my storms and helps me through as well, somedays I feel like he carries me way more than he should and I am so grateful for his strength and love every single day!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

The link I said I would post for you

For anyone who might want to read more about the the little boy placed for adoption on craigslist

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Web your blog photos

This is an ad on craigslist:
Date: 2009-07-19, 11:16AM BSTReply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]
Location: LONDON
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1277456374
The saddest part of it all is this baby that they are offering up for adoption is actually the 8 month old son of a woman who lives jst a couple towns over from me!
I saw it on the news just this morning, I can't find a link to the story online but if I do find it I will post it. The basics of it is this:
The mom received an e-mail that she needed to see this ad. The woman then went to the ad and replied to it looking for more information. She received a photo of her own son that she had posted on her family blog! Yahoo has closed out the e-mail account posted but the authorities would not verify to the news station whether or not they wee investigating further. The mother says that although her son is not being physically harmed she feels he is somehow being violated.
Can you imagine this womans anger? Can you imagine being her? I have seen people on mommy message boards do stuff like this, steal photos from a blog and then create an identity, use the photos as their own children and feed their fantasy life. I don't know why these people do this, but it's so wrong....and this seems even worse to me. Personally I can't see looking on craigslist for adoption unless it's a dog or a cat, a human child is not something I would turn to craigslist for, it's just whacked in so many ways. I think of the people who are that desparate though, the people who want to adopt and can't go through regular channels to get the child they want so they turn to something more shady like craigslist only to be duped, get their money taken and never get the child they so desire because he belongs to someone else. Or worse, perhaps these people would concider stealing this child and actually going through with the adoption...I wouldn't put it past the sickos in this world to do just that! Honestly I hope this was just some sicko looking to make a fast buck and that thought never crossed thier mind.
Hug your children people and watch what you post. Concider watermarking your photos or even locking up your photos so that only the people you let in can see them. I used to mark all of mine, I might go back to it on principle, it's a sick sad world we live in, let's help our little ones stay safe!