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Saturday, June 27, 2009

Fun at the water park

The sun finally came out and we had a really great day to go to the water park and have some fun in the sun!
Here's hubby with Orion
Orion coming down Hurricane Carol
Orion happy to be at Water Wizz for the first time this summer :)

Orion and Mom

Under the waterfalls

Orion and mom coming off the tube slide

Orion and mom coming down the tube slide

Orion coming down

Orions smile...I just love to see that :)

An attempt at a family picture lol neither of us has arms long enough to get everyone in and then Orion has to close his least you can tell we were happy and it was a good day all no I'm not that short I was crouched down to try to fit into the picture with everyone, normally I'm almost as tall as hubby, he only has about an inch on me.

Flashy Friday

I had this all typed out on Thursday night, however Blogger was unable to save so I saved it in notebook and kept it to post. So here's Flashy Friday a little late
Here we are, another Friday (ok so it's not quite Friday yet, but it will be in a couple hours and I have nothing better to do right now so deal with it lol) It's time for me to share with ya'all my thoughts for the week.
For those who are new to Flashy Friday, it's my own unique twist on a weekly themed post. I pick 2 or 3 things to have a "flashback" on and tell the lessons I have learned from these things. I flash 2 or 3 events each week, one of which will be from the first 11 years of my life....this is because my first 11 years were filled with abuse and unimaginable things. When I was 11 I was placed in foster care because of these horrid events, but I never fully recovered. Flashy Friday is my cheap therepy and hopefully someone will happen upon it and my words will help them heal as well...for some good must come from the evil. And so, without further ado, here is this weeks Flashy Friday
My mother was a difficult woman to live with, she expected things to be a certian way and expected her kids to be seen but not heard. If I spoke out of line, if I did something wrong, even if I didn't do anything other than just be a kid I was beaten. Sometimes she got out of hand, sometimes she did extreemly dangerous things...for instance once I clearly remember her holding a pillow over my face on the bed screaming at me that I was supposed to be a pill and since that failed I was supposed to be a back alley abortion that she couldn't afford! Apparently, as my siblings often reminded me, my mother had been on birth control when I was conceived. Perhaps she forgot a pill, perhaps it failed her, I really don't know, all I know is that I was not supposed to exist. In her defense...I was the youngest of 7 children, I could see her not wanting anymore. When she found out that she was pregnant, apparently she wanted a back alley abortion as Roe V. Wade had not taken effect and it was not yet legal to terminate pregnancy. Mother couldn't afford a back alley and my father either couldn't afford it or refused to pay, either way I was forced upon her. She tried drinking a lot of alcohol and smoking a lot of cigarrettes only to let me be born with fetal alcohol syndrome and withdrawals, she attempted to throw herself down a flight of stairs only to get some bruises and me. I was told these stories on a regular basis, as though being told I was not wanted might make me go away in the very least it would hurt me emotionally and cause me pain that way. Since mother had to suffer, so did I...and so I suffered on a regular basis. She was nothing but a pure bully! Holding that pillow over my face, screaming at me how I was not wanted, how I shouldn't even exist hurt me beyond words. It hurt physically as my lungs burned trying to breath, it hurt as I felt her weight on my body trying to force the life out of me, but more than the physical pain I suffered from this torment emotionally. It hurt me to know she did not love me, that she did not want me,that she wished I did not exist on this planet. It broke my heart to know that I truly was not wanted in the least. The physical pain healed as my big brother pulled her off me, I sputtered and coughed, my ribs hurt for a few days, but that all eventually went away. What didn't heal were the scars that could not be seen, the emotional damage that was done, the trauma inflicted upon my very soul. My mother did not love me and she wished that I were dead!
You might ask what would cause a woman to act in this manner? What could cause a mother to react so harshly? Do you really want to know.....I'll tell was all because I had misplaced her favorite hairbrush! I wasn't supposed to use it, I wasn't supposed to touch it even, but I wanted to brush my hair and make it pretty like hers was, I wanted it to shine and bounce just like moms....but I got distracted and laid it down somewheres and not where it was supposed to be, I didn't return it to its proper spot and I was cought! Practically killed over a sad! Honestly the only thing I learned from all this was to make sure I tell my son every single day how much I love him, how proud of him I am and how much I love that he's in my life!
The sun came out for a few minutes's the first we've seen of it in quite some time. My son says it's been 3 1/2 weeks since we had good weather, honestly I had lost track of how long it's been but you can usually count on my boy when it comes to time so I'm taking his word for it! It's amazing how we take for granted the ability to get outside, get some fresh air and play. We don't pay attention to how great a thing that is until it's been 3 1/2 weeks and you're stir crazy mad! Cabin fever was definately in full force and it was nice to get out into the yard. We found a snake out there, a harmless garden snake, but a snake none the less. As I watched my son reach down and just grab it, hold it up in the air and say " you wanna hold it Mom?" I had to smile. He was so proud and happy to be holding this snake, so thrilled to realize that snakes are not slimy but really are smooth and cold. He put it in the bug observatory for a few hours, watched it slither around and was fascinated by this one creature. He pretended to hiss at it in parsel-tongue (anyone who has read Harry Potter knows what that is) and pretended the snake could talk back. Although I did not hear it hiss even once, apparently it told him all about how it was a good snake who was carrying the message that Voldemort was hiding behind the bush and if we wanted to kill him we had to sacrifice ourselves to protect those we loved just like Harry's mother did for him. It was wonderful to watch him be carefree and have some great fun, I also realized that adults need to find their imagination again because life is way more interesting when you can talk to snakes.
I'm going to conclude this weeks Flashy Friday here......honestly that first one took a lot of willpower to write and it weighs heavy upon my heart. I hate that my mother hated me so much, I don't hink I'll ever understand that. So for now...thanks for listening and I hope everyone who reads this hugs their children close and has a great weekend!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Still waiting for summer to get here

I know what the calendar said, it said that summer has already arrived but I have yet to see one ounce of it! I have seen nothing but cold wind and rain and grey clouds hanging over my head! My creative 8 year old wants to go camping but with this kind of weather it just ain't happening so this is what he came up with as an alternative

My Urban Rebounder with balance bar has become the entrance to the tent and imaginary fire pit...the red blanket is the fire lol The strechy flannel sheet that is only used in the winter because it's soooooo warm has become the tent, the swiffer duster became the center support pole (at least he didn't use something sharp and pointy on my couch) He laid out blankets and they are supposed to be the sleeping bags (not sure why he didn't just use real sleeping bags but what do you want he's 8) I have helped him maintain the tent for 2 days now as the cats try to see who can collapse it first.....even better if Orion is inside it, then it's see who can trap the boy inside lol

He has a couple of sticks that he has been using as imaginary fire pokers and marshmellow sticks, he occassionally can be heard yelling "OUCH OUCH I'M BURNING!!!" as he jumps and bounces in the firepit, and he likes to just lay in there playing his Nintendo DS as if he were really camping. He lays in there to watch TV, he lays in there playing his X-Box, he lays in there to read a book or just relax with one of our many fur-babies (we have 5 cats and a dog so there's usually someone willing to cuddle in there)

The downside to all this......I've lost my living room until the sun decides to shine!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Dear Verizon...yet again

Wanna see my first letter go here
Another month has passed and I happen to actually look at my bill again BEFORE paying up...obviously you THOUGHT I might be stupid enough to not look again, but like I said last time ....thought shit his britches, or at least he thought he did! Sure enough sitting there under my additional internet services was 2, yes 2 charges for that webspace I have repeatedly told you I do not want!! Yet again I pick up the phone and call your wonderful customer service department, I am a kind person but even Jesus Christ himself had his limits and let me tell ya I really feel for these poor people who have to answer the phone when I call. I know it's not their fault, but they happen to be who I get to talk to about this and as the saying goes...shit rolls downhill!
The poor girl who answered the phone said that she saw in my records that this matter had been turned over to the IT department and if I could hold on for a minute she would be able to talk to the person I spoke with last month and find out the status of my claim. 20 minutes later (like I have nothing better to do with my time) she comes back on the line. The gentleman I spoke with last time says that he has escalated my claim to get the attention of the IT department. I asked her what the issue was exactly, why can't she just remove this from my service? She claims that it doesn't show up on my account, it's somewhere in the background somewheres and only shows up on the bill every month. Apparently there's nothing on my account for her to remove and she really wishes she could remove it but she simply can't.
What I don't understand is how this is not on my account but shows up on my bill every month and not only that but it shows up TWICE every month!
The poor girl who had the pleasure of answering my call today credited my account yet again for these 2 charges, I seriously hope I do not have to call you again next month! If I do have to call again, I seriously pity the poor fool who answers the phone because they are going to be dealing with one very pissed off person! This has been going on for 4 months now...4 months people! Seriously, get your shit in gear! I know that since you are the only company who offers FIOS service here in my town I am stuck with you, but that doesn't mean you can bill me for services I do not want or use!
One very Disgruntled and Dissatisfied Customer!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Flashy that was fast!

What happened to the week? How did it go by so fast???
*** Flashy Friday is my own unique idea, something I intend to do pretty much every Friday...I flash back through my week, month, years, whatever I feel like flashing back to and the lessons I may have learned. In general I try to flash through 2 to 3 events each Friday. ***
20 years ago I graduated high school...yes 20 years!!!! Somehow that makes me feel really, really old! How could it possibly have been 20 years since I entered the "real world" full of hopes, dreams, and some demented view of what life was going to be like now that I was "all grown up"?
20 years is a LONG time, 2 decades, 1/5 of a century, how the heck did that happen?? Was it really that long ago? The thought just blows my mind!!
20 years ago I thought I knew it all, I thought I was going to go off to college, I would have a double major in Physical Education and Psychology. I thought within 20 years I would be a successful PE Teacher and Guidance Counselor, I thought I would be making some pretty good money, have a couple of kids of my own, be married to someone who looked like my first love John Kenealy or my elementary crush Danny Satre. I knew it wouldn't be either of them, afterall John Keneally was my 7th grade PE teacher and already married with children and had refused my proposal when I was 12. (YES I honestly professed my love to the man, asked him to divorce his wife and marry me when I was 12 years old in his gym class LOL) Danny Satre, well he was not in my league. I was shy and akward where he was outgoing and Mr. Popularity.....but boy was he cute. He was 1 day older than me, we went to school together all our lives..... except that first year of foster care. Little did I know 20 years ago!
20 years later I'm a Virtual Customer Service Rep. working from home so I can take care of my wild and crazy ADHD son when he's not in least here I can use my psychology education to analyze him and try to figure out the best way to parent him since my birth mother tought me only how NOT to raise him. I am his teacher and counselor and that's about as close as I will ever come to that part of my dream. My husband only resembles John Kenealy and Danny Satre in one respect...I fell in love with him at first sight...only this time it was true love, not some 5 year olds crush or 12 year olds desire to have a father figure (which in all reality is probably what I was looking for when I asked John to marry me) 20 years later, I am a happier person than I was, but I can admit I have problems and ask for help when those problems get to be too big for me. I now realize that life isn't what I dreamt it would be, marriage isn't something out of a fairy tale but more like a job that I have to work at and fight to keep maintained and strong. I realize kids are NOT as easy to deal with as I thought it would be, babysitting nieces and nephews and other returnable children is NOT an indication of how well prepared I am to have children of my own. NOTHING prepares you for that!
20 years is a long time, I can't wait to reflect and think about all the things I have no clue about now in another 20 years!
Today is my sons last day of 3rd grade, I can't believe it! I don't know how that happened, seems like yesterday I was taking him to his first day of preschool! Where did the time go? Even bigger it seems, he's now 8 3/4 years old, in 3 months my son will be 9 years old! That means that it's been almost a full decade since my life changed completely....I found out I was carrying a child and my whole world changed. I suddenly had someone else to worry about, someone else who would be relying on me to make sure they turned out did this happen so quickly? I swear once I saw that positive pregnancy test someone pressed the fast forward button on my life and got it jammed! Once he came out of my body they hit that button again (like on the DVD player where you can go fast or super fast) and now it's really stuck and before I know it he's going to be in his last day of high school or college or getting married or having children! He's going to be 9 years another 9 he'll be officially an adult.....could someone PLEASE direct me toward the pause button??? These past 9 years went by way too fast, I don't want the next 9 to happen quite so quickly. I have so much to teach him still, so much to share with him, there's no way he's already 1/2 way to being an adult, just not possible. I can only hope in the next 9 years I can teach him everything right, I can turn him into a good strong man, that in 9 more years he'll still love hanging out with dear old Mom, going bowling and having dates with me on Friday nights. I hope I win out over the girls...but something tells me in another 9 years I'll be sitting at home on Friday nights waiting for my baby to come home safe and sound.
Last week I told you that calling my childhood a nightmare was a fair title for it, I also said I wouldn't go into details on that post....I think in order to help myself heal, in order to come to terms with my childhood from now on each week will have one flash from those first 11 years. If I can put it into words my heart can heal, if I can put it into words where others can read them, then maybe, just maybe, someone else will read it and they too can heal.
I will start with my mother, she's the easiest to remember and deal with. I only suffered physical abuse from her and it's mild compared to the stuff my father, brother and uncle did to me. If I can get beyond her and the pain she caused then I can face the harder stuff.
One of my memories of my mothers abuse was when I was around 4 or 5 years old. Mother always liked back rubs and it was my job to make sure she got one. She always wanted it at night and I would get so tired that my eyes would close no matter how hard I fought to keep them open, I was, afterall, only a child. I remember sitting there on the couch rubbing her back in circles, then up and down and then side to side. My hand began to get slower as I grew more tired. I fought the sleep, I tried with every breath of my being to stay awake. Suddenly I was sailing off the couch and across the room, the sting of her backhand on my cheek. "What the hell are you doing? Did I tell you that you could stop?" Reality set in, I must have fallen asleep. "I'm sorry mommy! I fell asleep. I'm so very tired, could I please go to bed?" "Not until you're done your job!"
**and yes I remember it that clearly!**
I went back to rubbing her back but within minutes sleep is taking over and again I am feeling my eyes close no matter how hard I try to keep them open. I feel my hand slowing down, I tell myself not to stop rubbing, I tell myself not to fall asleep but I can't win this battle! She grabbed me by the hair on my head, she dragged me off the couch to stand in front of her. "What did I say to you?" "I could sleep when I was done rubbing your back" "That's right so why are you stopping?" "I'm sorry mommy, I'm just so tired I can't help it!" "I don't care, get back to work!" I go back to rubbing, but I'm ever so tired and I just can't physically stay awake any longer, I can not control it
WHACK...there's the leather belt aside my head. WHACK....there it is again. WHACK....a 3rd time. WHACK, WHACK, WHACK...over and over again!
Finally, after a good beating I'm sent to bed because according to mother I am useless, lazy, good for nothing and tomorrow I will rub her back twice as long to make up for the time she lost tonight.
Perhaps that's why I hate giving my hubby backrubs, perhaps that's why I cringe when he asks me to rub his sore muscles, perhaps now that I understand where it comes from I can turn it around and change it, perhaps now I can heal just a little.
And this concludes another Flashy Friday, I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Enjoying my last full day of quiet

Tomorrow Orion only has a half day of school, he gets out at 12:25pm and then it's

So today is my last day of a quiet house for the summer, the last day to slack off and nap on the couch, last day to just do nothing. Starting tomorrow afternoon I'll turn into an entertainer for a few months.


Talk about disappointing kids, the school announced today at the end of the day that dismissal will be at 1:05pm, not at the 12:25 pm previously announced! Boy oh boy do I have a really mad kid right now!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The many faces of Orion

I've seen photo posts in many blogs that I have browsed through, and I just thought it was a really neato idea so I figured at least for this week I will follow suit and make my own photo post :) The posts I have previously seen had only 1 photo and were called "Wordless Wednesday", but when it comes to my boy I can't seem to pick just one and I know this post won't be wordless, honestly I don't think it possible for me to make a post without some words lol so here is the many faces of Orion version of a fun photo post on a Wednesday :)

With his hair pulled back into a pony tail (a.k.a. what Orion would look like with short hair)

As a complete goofball

With that long hair all flared out (a.k.a. what Orion would look like if the 80's big hair came back into style lol)

Just a happy boy (a.k.a. the rarest of photos)

Back to being a goofbal (a.k.a. what the vast majority of my photos of Orion look like)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Flashy Friday

*** Flashy Friday is my own unique idea, something I intend to do pretty much every Friday...I flash back through my week, month, years, whatever I feel like flashing back to and the lessons I may have learned. In general I try to flash through 2 to 3 events each Friday. ***


When I was a kid growing up, life was pretty rough. I lived in an abusive environment for the first 11 1/2 years of my life which resulted in me having numerous "irrational" fears. One of my biggest fears is closed in places. I simply MUST have a window in any room I am in or I will become edgy and twitchy very quickly. My heart pounds, my breathing becomes rapid and my palms begin to sweat. This is all caused by my evil mother thinking it was ok to punish my wrong doings by locking me in a little closet under the stairs...literally. It was in our living room, a small door that went to the storage closet under the stairs, there was one small light in there but mother often took the bulb, closed the door and left me in there in the dark. The timing was always different and I never knew how long I would be in there for, it was dark and scary. I had a little stuffed dog that I kept in there, I would hold his little ear up and whisper into it all my fears, feelings, angry thoughts and desire to be kidnapped by anyone so as to not have to live with this rotten woman any longer. He kept me sane and to this day I hold him dear to my heart...I'm ever so thankful that I thought to take him to school with me that fateful day when the nice lady from social services picked me up at school and took me away from the nightmare that was my life....being locked in the closet was the mildest of my punishments but I won't go into details about the rest in this post, but calling my childhood a nightmare is a fair judgement.

It's been 27 years since that day when social services came to my school and took me away and to this day I can't even go through the tunnels in Boston without feeling panic. I have learned to control the fear to an extent, but I think it will always be there in the back of my mind.


This past Monday was field day at my sons school. The school finally processed my CORI report and I was able to volunteer as a helper for the day. It was nice to be out on the field watching all the kids play and remembering what it was like when I was little, but even better was being able to watch my son in action and realize he's a pretty cool kid! He's at the age where it's NOT COOL to talk to your mom in front of the other children and most definately NOT COOL to hug her in public...but Monday I not only was spoken to, smiled at and thanked for being there in front of his entire grade (about 125 kids) BUT I WAS HUGGED!!!! Not to mention how great he was at following the instructions and rules of the games we played, how fast he ran around the race course and how very polite he was to all the parents and teachers alike. Since he has ADHD and is basically only medicated at school, I don't get to see this side of him very was very refreshing to watch and I can now understand just how good this wonder drug Adderall really is! It was also nice to see that I really have done a good job so far (in my humble opinion of course) he let the girls go first, he ignored the obnoxious boys and didn't join in when they were misbehaving but rather stood quietly to get the instructions and then cheered on his fellow teammates. I actually heard please, thank you, excuse me and no thank you....perfect manners from a kid I thought had lost all manners when he turned 3! Again...not something I get to see or hear very much at home, so it was nice to know he really hasn't forgotten all those manners, he just doesn't use them when he doesn't have meds in his body.

I think the best part of my day however was one simple realization.....when I was a child all I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a mom that was better than my own. I realized, as I watched my son, that I have achieved my lifes dream, I have far exceeded her!!


This concludes another Flashy Friday Thanks for reading and I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!

This is just a test...again

This is another test of the signature posting system.
If this had been a real post you would have found more intesting stuff to read....however i am only testing this signature to be sure it works since the last time it disappeared and vanished into thin air somewhere. I'm thinking some big ole spider in the world wide web thought it might be a tasty snack.
This concludes this test of the signature posting system....once again.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Mean kids SUCK...

Orion is the youngest kid in his class, it's this way because I put him into school a year early. A lot of people told me it would be a mistake, the preschool teacher even told me that he was "socially immature" and that if I went ahead with my plans to put him into kindergarten early then he wouldn't have any friends by the time he got to 3rd grade. I followed my gut and my 4 year old went off to kindergarten with a bunch of 5 and 6 year olds. There was one boy in his class that had been held back an extra year by his mother because of the fact that he was also "socially immature" I thought it was a bad plan beacuse her now 6 year old was a head taller than the other kids and stuck out like a sore thumb. At least Orion was tall enough to fit right in and even though he was 4 he looked like a 6 year old in size!

The preschool teacher was right to one extent...Orion grew into a major case of ADHD and by the time he finished 2nd grade he had 1 friend left that would tolerate his crazy antics and play with him. With medication he has rebuilt some of those friendships he lost and his biggest problem at school now is the complete boredom he experiences. However there are still a couple of boys at school who remember his crazy antics of years past and they are just plain mean...there is no other way of putting it, they are simply MEAN!

This past week Orion went to his bowling banquet and received trophies for being the best bowler in the 10 and under age group, he was so proud of those trophies and went to school with a smile and great pride. When the kids asked him about it, he explained about the trophies and his bowling. Those few boys called him a liar (to his face, in front of all the other kids) they said there was no way a crazy boy like him could possibly be the best boy bowler under 10 years old in Massachusetts. They laughed at him and tried to convince the rest of the class that he was just trying to get attention, that it was not to put them in their place yesterday I carried those 4 trophies over to that school and lined them up on the table in his classroom! I let him take those trophies showing he was indeed the best and let him gloat, let him enjoy putting those boys in their place! I hope those boys learned a lesson yesterday and maybe next time they want to make someone feel badly, the next time they want to hold onto the past and not give people a chance to change, I really hope they remember their embarrassment as they were proven wrong.

This is just a test

This is a test of the Signature Posting System. If this had been a real post you would find something a lot more interesting to read.

If you see a signature at the bottom of this post then it has been successful and you can find instructions on how to post your own signature at Shabby Blogs
This concludes this test of the Signature Posting System

I just don't understand

Small simple rant......

IF you know I have to read you all these offers and that I am just doing my job then WHY pray tell are you harrassing me, calling me an idiot and insulting me because I'm offering you an upgrade on your exersize equipment/workout program???? I just don't understand that at all!

I've been getting it all night long, people telling me that they just want what they called in for, only what they saw on TV or some other line. Then I go about the usual business of offering the upgrade and they stop me and ask me if I am stupid? or didn't I hear them say they only wanted what was on the screen? THEN continue on to say that they understand I have to read these additional offers and that I am only doing my job . WHY insult me and ask me if I am stupid if you know I am only doing my job? Why insult me and call me stupid if you know I'm not being stupid but I HAVE to read these offers? Honestly they are the stupid people for calling me stupid when they know full well that I am only doing my job!

Somedays I just wanna throw in the towel....if it weren't for the fact that everything in this world costs money and we need my extra income to play I would hang up this headset and walk away

Friday, June 5, 2009

State Championship Bowling Banquet

Last night was the banquet for the Massachusetts State Championship Bowling Tournament. They only give out trophies to the 1st place winners, 2nd and 3rd place received medals. The banquet is only for the 1st place bowlers, a little something extra to recognize their achievement.

Just as a reminder Orion won the following in the tournament:

1st Place Singles Division

1st Place Teams Division

1st Place for High Single Game

1st Place for All Events

3rd Place for Doubles Division

I don't have a photo of him with his 3rd place medal as he received that previously at the bowling alley and not at the are some photos of him from the banquet last night.

Orion with his 1st Place Singles Trophy

Orion with his 1st Place Team Trophy

Orion receiving his High Single Game Trophy (not sure what happened with the photo here, hubby took this one and I'm not sure what he had the settings on the camera at) The lady in the photo is Linda, the owner of the bowling alley where Orion bowls.

Orion, Coach Mom and the 1st Place All Event Trophy

And finally Orion with all 4 trophies lined up showing off the patches that came with them.

I can't even begin to express how proud of my little man I am! He's only 8 1/2 years old, has only been bowling for 3 years and already he's showing this kind of skill! I am amazed by how well he is doing!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

One of our biggest battles

Today I decided to post something that is majorly effecting our lives, it's always been a problem and I am at my wits end, I just don't know what to do at this point.

When Orion was a first potty training, pooping in the pot was our biggest battle. He could pee like a pro...his underwear were always dry and we never had a problem with that part, it was always (and still is to this day) a battle to get Orion to do #2 on the toilet. He's a holder, he will hold that poo in his body for days on end because he doesn't like to go. We tried rewards, we tried books, we tried talking and would have been just as effective if we had talked to a wall. I have even tried making him sit on the toilet every single day...the pediatrician suggested not letting him get off the toilet until he actually produces, but his stubborness is strong and he will literally sit there until I have other thngs I have to do and can't let him sit there any longer. He's very good at being stubborn! I have sat him on the toilet first thing in the morning on a Saturday and he will sit there for 2 or 3 hours and not do a thing but cry that he wants to get off. I give him books, I tell him he can get off once he produces, but he knows eventually I will have to get him off of there and head out to the bank before it closes. When he was little I had to add Miralax to his juice so his poo would get soft enough that he could barely control the flow, eventually he would HAVE to go and he would literally put out so much that it would clog the toilet! It would hurt pushing out so much poo and that would only make him hold it even longer the next time....fearing the pain has been one of the biggest battles. I try to explain to him that the pain wouldn't be there if he would just go at least every other day...but alas he will wait and wait and wait until he's practically compacted and we have to give him more stool softener and ex-lax to make him go. I hate the cycle he has laid out for us and I just don't know what else I can do. This is one thing I simply can not do for him, I can't force it out of him without the use of ex-lax or other laxative pill or suppository, like I said before, I'm at my wits end.

One of the biggest drawbacks to him being a holder (besides the fact that he's not pooping regularly) is the fact that he gets grumpy and irritable everytime it builds up. Once he's been holding it for 4 or 5 days he starts getting angry and frustrated with everything and everyone. It's difficult to deal with, his mood just gets worse every single day until he finally goes. I could just dose him with ex-lax or stool softener every single day of his life, but would that be a good plan? The pediatrician says I should only do that when he hasn't gone in awhile and is at the point where he's starting to get the skid marks again because the poo is trying to get out of his body. She seems to think I just need to sit him on the toilet everyday and eventually his stubbornness will break and he'll learn to just go...first of all, he has to go to school so I can't play that game all the time. Afterschool he has homework, cub scouts, bowling, etc. I can't deny him all his happiness just because he is a holder. There has to be some solution to this problem, something that will make it easier for him and me....I'm hoping that maybe someone will happen upon this blog and have an answer for me, I'm hoping that maybe someone else has gone through this and can help me feel not so alone.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Chocolate Math

Aunt Hillary (Great-Auntie Hillary as Orion calls her) sent me this e-mail and I thought I would share it with the blogging community.....this is some pretty kewl math so check it out :)
Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway -but the Hershey Man will know!
This is pretty neat
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute.Work this out as you read.Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate
(more than once but fewer than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 ...If you haven't, add 1758.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week). The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
Chocolate Calculator.

Monday, June 1, 2009

School Photo came back

isn't my little man a handsome little bugger?