My Tickers

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


I just don't know what to do!

Big Sis is in a relationship with a guy she loves, he's a lot older than her and has made it very clear that he will never get married again. She lives with him in his house, helps pay the bills and she does have  her youngest boy living with them but he is not the boyfriends son. Anyway, this guy treats her like crap, she tells me how he yells at her all the time for not doing things the way he wants them done, for not raising her son the way he thinks he should be raised and he often degrades her in front of his friends telling her how her opinions don't matter. She tells me he does not hit her, her never gets physical, but he is verbally harsh and cold. Personally I think emotional abuse is just as bad, if not worse, than physical abuse. I feel the emotional scars run deeper and are harder to heal from. She says she loves him and wants to make it work. Her children all tell her to leave him and she looks to me for support in her decision to stay with this man simply because she loves him and says he makes her happy (although I don't really see it)

So what do I do? Do I continue to be quiet and not say anything and just support her or do I tell her how I really feel. I worry about her because she tells me that the only way she gets on the internet for things like facebook is on her cell phone and he goes through her things when she's at work or not at home. She has had a couple of posts deleted off her facebook page without her knowing how and people "un-friended" without her knowing why.  He reads her texts over her shoulder and I feel I can't really say much without getting her in trouble. She often can't talk on the phone because she is with him, he drives an oil truck and if she isn't working her regular job apparently he makes her go with him in the truck to deliver oil and she feels she can't say no. Often I text her and her only reply is "can't talk now but I love you" I just don't know what to do. 

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