After coming home from the tournament, Orion asked if he could have a friend over so I gave him the phone and he started calling people up to see if he could find a friend...he ended up with his girlfriend Jesse as usual and she came over for a couple of hours. Her mother was ever so grateful since she had things to do and needed to get Jesse out of her hair for awhile. It worked out great for both of us. Orion and Jesse went out for a bike ride around the school next door and I got to try to maintain my computer...which is no easy feat these days. For some reason Internet Explorer is being a pain in my hiney! Recently it started loading exceptionally slow and then when I would click a link and have it open in a new window, that new window would be even slower. To top it off, when I finally got frustrated enough to close out that new window, not only would it close that window but it would close all the windows on the page. Then IE (when reopened) would give me some message about unexpectantly closing down and do I want to start on my homepage or where I left off. I ran virus scans, registry scans, malware and spyware scans, everything I could think of to no avail! I finally gave up and resulted to using Firefox which works like a charm! I am running smoothly and quickly with firefox, but it does take some getting used to....for instance figuring out how to transfer my bookmarks from IE to FF...ok I have blond roots and they sometimes come through screaming loud!
So now that I am up and running, I get to work BUT work is soooooo slow these days it's painful to sit here! I can't stand how slow it is, so I blog, go on facebook, write poems for my Big Sis (a new hobby of mine) and post those poems on facebook for her. I am also studying hard, hoping that maybe I can finish this easier stuff faster so that I can get down to the hard stuff that will work my brain more. Right now it's all basic office stuff that I pretty much already know....stuff like how to properly format a letter, or how to properly word an e-mail, how to work a multi-line phone system etc. Like I said, basic stuff that I learned back in high school when I was an office aide. I am breezing through this stuff, but soon it'll be more detailed stuff and medical terminology so I know I have my work cut out for me. If I can build good study habits now with the easy stuff I'll be ready to study the harder stuff. Plus, I'm setting a good example for my boy as he sees me studying when I have a free moment.
Finally...my egg donor has been louder than usual in my head these days. I hear her voice a lot and it's unnerving. I know it's partly due to the fact that my prescription for my PMDD meds is running out and I need a refill, and partly because the dishwasher hasn't been replaced and hubby wants me doing laundry everyday instead of once a week. Last night I had a meltdown, broke into tears and bawled like a little baby. Hubby was upset the laundry hadn't been put away, and I was struggling with her in my head after doing dishes so I hadn't gotten to putting it away. Hubby generally doesn't like to hear about my past, he usually just says something along the lines of "It's over, that's in the past. This is your here and now so just get over it" He believes that talking about it makes it stay, he doesn't understand how talking helps the healing process. I broke down, told him why I was struggling so much, explained how I literally hear her in my head screaming at me and how it's been worse since the dishwasher broke and I just can't deal with it right now. I want to throw all the dishes out and order takeout every night just so I don't have to hear her in my head, I want disposable clothing so I don't have to listen to her anymore. I want to go pay a hypnotist to take her out of my head LITERALLY! I just want her to stop but I can't seem to make her stop and the harder time he gives me about not getting that laundry put away the louder she becomes and it's killing me. It's making me feel mentally unstable and emotionally drained! He decided it would be better for me to just do laundry once a week until the dishwasher can be replaced and I can get my prescription filled. I feel like such a loser letting her win, but I don't know how to fight a ghost!
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