My Tickers

Monday, April 12, 2010

Thoughtful Monday...because I feel the need

I saw on Facebook a message from Big Sis, it said that she had just had lunch at a restaurant back in our old home town. So I asked her what made her go back to the old stompin' grounds, afterall there is nothing there but bad memories. Her response threw me for a loop.

She had gone back to face the demons, to deal with the things that had happened so long ago. She went back to the old house where we grew up and asked the people living there if she could have a look around. She found herself standing in the very same rooms where we had been beaten, where we had been raped, where we had our childhood stolen from us. She stood there with the memories flooding back and it was then that she realized that she WAS standing there, she had survived! I asked her if she had vanquished any demons and this was her response:

"sure did... it seems smaller than I remember and being there brought on some flashbacks bu its ok because there I was right where I had been beaten so many times and assaulted and it hit me that I was still breathing and didnt turn out to be a psycho killer.... so ultimately... Though I was beat down at a young age, I dont have to let the memories hold me down there. Time to wash the scars clean and stand tall."

Her words are an inspiration to me! I hope that someday I can do what she did....go back there, face the demons head on and walk away feeling like a new woman! She says the house is exactly the same as when we lived there, but the garage is gone and the old weeping willow tree was chopped down (I sure did love that tree, so many memories hiding under its loving branches). She says that someday she wants to save up enough money to buy the old place and turn it into a home for abused children! I, for one, believe she will do just that! She also said that when I am ready to face the demons she will go with me so that I won't have to face them alone! I don't think I'm ready just yet, someday maybe I'm just not sure when someday will come. Writing about it is one thing....seeing the old place is a whole different story!

From Blogger Pictures

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