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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Thoughtful Thursday's a vital part of an abused childs existance. Since you do not feel love and acceptance at home, when you go off to school it is something major to feel accepted for who you are dispite the mistakes you may make. Once you go into foster care and you get moved to a whole new environment that friendship becomes even more vital if you are taken from your home at an older age.

at least that's my opinion and my experience

You see I was placed in foster care when I was 11 years old. I lived in a very small town where everyone knew everyone and no one wanted to get involved. I was placed into foster care in a larger town where there were families who took in foster kids and thus I ended up being moved to a new school. I was removed from my home the next to last day of 5th grade, did not get to go back for the last day of 5th grade when we would have had a field day to celebrate the beginning of our summer. I got to spend my summer in a whole new town with a bunch of new people who had already established their own friendships with kids they had grown up with. My foster parents tried to help me out, they introduced me to a girl who was of the same age as me who lived down the street, her mother was good friends with my foster mother. But no matter how hard they tried to force me upon her, no matter how many times they tried to make us play together, she was already established in her friendships and didn't need some strange abused kid tagging along all the time. It was a time when 11 year olds could actually go off to their friends houses and not be worried about, you just got up in the morning, said good-bye and you weren't seen again until dinner time....lunch time if you got hungry and didn't have money to buy a snack at the store downtown. So I spent much of my first summer trying to tag along with my big sister who wanted nothing to do with me because I was a reminder of where we had come from and what we all were trying to hide.

Summer ended and I started 6th grade in a new town, in a new school. The girl down the road, well she wasn't in my classroom and a part of me was thankful because she was snotty and stuck-up and didn't seem to like me much at all. We only somewhat got was more like she tolerated me because her mother forced her to than she wanted to be my friend. And so that first day of 6th grade, in a new town, in a new school was not a good day for me except for one thing....Angel.

Angel was in my class, I had never met her before, I didn't know her but she smiled at me and we just clicked. She was kind, seemed to actually want to be my friend and she was pretty so maybe, just maybe, I could learn a thing or two from her about make-up and being pretty too. She had beautiful long black hair with waves like the ocean, she had eyes that captivated you and made you look at them. We became fast friends! When my 12th birthday came around and my foster mother planned a surprise birthday party for me (inviting most of the girls in my 6th grade class) it was only Angel that I was happy to see there. The other girls were nice, but they weren't Angel! Angel is the tall one in the back row with the pink turtleneck. My foster mother took a few photos so I could remember my very first birthday party ever!

We went ice skating after cake and ice cream and presents....this is me and Angel right before we hit the ice. The photo is old and could use some restoration, but the smiles are there and you can see how happy I was with my friend!

Angel was the sister I never had, the friend who was there for me through thick and thin, the friend who asked me to come spend the night so I could escape the foster care world and feel like a normal kid if only for one night. Her parents were super kewl, I called them Mom and Dad...really I did! They were the parents I always wanted but never had, even her little brother (who annoyed her to no end) fascinated me! When I was with Angel, I felt good, happy, wanted, care-free, all the things a kid should feel but I had never felt before. It lasted a couple of years, but then Angel disappeared and I spent nearly 25 years wondering what happened to her, where she had gone, and deeply missing my very dear friend....that is until last night!

A few nights ago I was on facebook and happened to see a funny post from one of my aquaintance friends ....basically a person I went to high school with, we reconnected on facebook for our high school 20th reunion, but we aren't deep friends. ANYWAY, I went over to their profile page and saw on their friends list none other than Angels little brother, all grown up and looking as goofy as ever lol I immediately, without hesitation, sent him a message. I asked him about his sister and asked him if he knew how I could find her, asked if she maybe had a facebook page. The next day he replied that he would tell her to look me up....I was wowwed beyond belief! Then yesterday he sent me another message....simply a name and a city. I put that name into facebook search and there was my long lost friend looking back at me. Older, blonder, but still as captivating as ever. I immediately sent her a friend request, I told her that her brother had given me her name and within minutes I was reconnecting with my friend that I have not seen in nearly 25 years...the friend I so often wondered about but knew that being a girl her name probably would have changed ( as it has), the friend I thought would only exist in my childhood memories for the rest of my life.

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