Thursday, June 30, 2011
Here we are, another week has past and Thursday is upon me. Summer has arrived with lots of heat and sunshine :-) I get to grill outside, which I totally love, and this year I finally perfected the frozen french fries on the grill!! My son requests them every night now as well as the hubby. It makes me very happy that they are enjoying the food I put in front of them and that I don't have to heat up the house with the oven to do it.
This week coming up includes Independence Day, we already went to a fireworks show last week and I think after that experience I have had enough for awhile. See I got to have my first experience of not knowing where my child was and it scared me to death! See My wonderful wild child did not listen when I reminded him to bring his phone with him so when he said he was going to be over by the basketball hoops and I couldn't find him I also couldn't get in touch with him. He had decided that the playground was too "little" for him so he went over to the basketball / swingset area to hang out. After like 1/2 hour it was getting dark and I started getting nervous so I went looking for him and could not find him. I tried calling him but he didn't have his phone with him. I called hubby to see if he had returned to the area we were sitting and he wasn't there. I walked all over the place looking for him to no avail. Hubby went off to look at the "little" playground thinking maybe he went back over there, I found a couple of police officers and showed them the photo on my cell phone and we went looking for him. They broadcast over their radios his name and description and I had the whole force out looking for him. There was probably 1000 people there and we could not find him anywhere. The police officer and I went back to our blanket to see if he had returned and sure enough there he was. I hugged him and cried! Apparently he had run into a couple of boys from school and went off with them for a bit, he just neglected to tell us where he was going to be and since he didn't have his phone he couldn't call. I told him if he EVER goes anywhere without that phone again there's gonna be trouble cause Mama's heart just can't take that kind of thing!
Of course that incident got me to thinking about my own relationship (or lack there of) with my egg donor. I can't help but wonder what she would have done in that situation. Would she have bothered looking for me? Would she of gone to a police officer in tears asking for help to find her lost child? Somehow I doubt it. I don't see her caring enough to bother looking for me say nothing about trying to get help to find me. I also can't help but wonder what kept me from wandering away from her. I had plenty of situations where we were in large crowds and I probably could have slipped away and disappeared yet I stayed with her and my siblings. I never wandered away from her, never disappeared, never would I have dreamed of hanging out with friends and forgetting to let someone know where I was going to be. The egg donor knew where I was 24/7 because I never ventured far enough away for her to not know. But why? I think it's mainly because I wouldn't have known where to go or what to do to take care of myself. Besides the point if the people who are supposed to love you the most beat you and hurt you in unimaginable ways, what's the rest of the world going to do?? I think that's what kept me there, the fear of the unknown, the fear of even worse than I was already getting, the fear made me stay.
I guess in a way I am happy to know that my son doesn't feel that kind of fear. That he is comfortable enough in his world that he doesn't know true fear. He doesn't understand the evil that lurks in crowds and I really am happy that he doesn't. He has been taught to holler, scream, punch and yell you're not my dad or you're not my mom. He has been taught that there are bad people out there and we won't know who the bad ones are until they do something bad to us, but he is comfortable enough in his world to venture away from mom and dad and not be afraid like I was. That is truly a good thing and it makes me smile...at the same time it scared me to death to know that there are evil people out there and that he was not where he was supposed to be. It opened a door of conversation for us and it taught us all a lesson. My son learned to carry his phone with him when he's not with me and I learned to trust him enough to find his way back to me. Hopefully there isn't a next time, but if there is, I don't think I'll send the police out looking for him after an hour, maybe I'll wait for an hour and 5 minutes lol
Have a wonderful holiday and take this time to talk to your children about safety and about strangers. No matter how old they are, they are never too old or too young to get snagged or lost. Make sure they have cell phones and that they have the phone on them before they wander out of your sight, modern technology is an amazing tool and it should be used. Hold them close and love them because they truly are life's most precious gifts!