My Tickers

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Mama Bear Syndrome

So I think I posted previously about my wild child and his friend getting caught texting when she was supposed to be doing homework. Well Just incase I didn't here's what happened.....

Orion has this girl he likes to text with and at the beginning of February her mother came home to find her texting instead of doing her homework. Her mother took the phone away and there were texts on it that she could see and unfortunately my boy had dropped the "F-bomb"  in his text. Her mom was understandably upset and contacted me about it. I took his phone away for a full week and we had a very deep discussion about his language. She also lost her phone for a week because of the fact that she was texting when she shouldn't.  After the week was up Orion got his phone back but she did not for whatever reason and so Orion called her house to see if she could come over, the answer was always a flat out "No" and we didn't understand why. I tried calling the mother to talk to her and she said that she wasn't against them playing together and that she felt they had learned their lessons and that the girl didn't have her phone back because it was just financially easier to not have it. Understandable again. The mom did mention that she didn't understand why the girl kept telling Orion that she couldn't come over without even asking and said that maybe the father had a different opinion and that she would talk to him and call me back. I even told her to please just tell me the truth, be honest and if they didn't want my kid playing with hers then just say so. The mom never called me back. Orion texted the mom once over vacation to ask if she could come over and the mom replied that they were out of state for a cousin's birthday so obviously she wouldn't be able to. Orion tried once more this past weekend, texting the moms cell, even going to the extent of saying that he was very sorry and please could he have one more chance with her and have his friend over to play. He explained that he missed his best friend.  He got no reply on that. Yesterday he came home from school very upset and bad tempered. He handed me a slip of paper that the girl had tossed onto his desk.


Mama Bear reared her ugly head!

My first thought was to take a picture of the note on my cell phone and send it to the girls mother! I was so ticked off, I simply could not believe this girl would treat anyone, much less my son, this way. I know her mother has told her over and over again that you don't be mean, you can decide that you don't want to be friends with someone but you can not be mean about it. Orion asked me not to do that, said he didn't want to get her into trouble because then he would never have a chance at being her friend ever again. I told him I wasn't sure I wanted him to be friends with her if that was the way she was going to treat him over 2 little texts asking if she could come play because he missed her! I tried to respect his wishes but my gut said it was a bad idea, that the mom needed to know how mean she had been. I talk to hubby about it first though because I know I can go over the top when it comes to my kid and he actually agreed with me. I picked up the phone and tried her cell and got no answer so I left a message basically saying that I would like to talk to her about what happened at school and that she could reassure her daughter that neither Orion nor I would be texting her again since it clearly upset her daughter that much. I did not tell her exactly what the note said, but I made it clear that I would like to talk to her about it because it wasn't right and it was mean. Somewhere around 9:30 at night the girl called here but Orion was already asleep. This morning he called her to see what she wanted and she said that her mother was forcing her to apologize  and making her bring in an apology card or something to give to him at school. Then he yelled at me because in his eyes, me calling her mom made it so that she will never want to be his friend ever again. I tried to explain how I felt it was the right thing to do, how I don't know if I want him to be friends with her and how she clearly was only apologizing because her mother was forcing her to. I asked him if he thought she would apologize without her mother forcing her to and he said he didn't know....and I don't want my kid hanging out with people who have no understanding of basic human kindness and respect. You don't want to be his friend, fine don't be his friend but don't be mean about it and call him a freak simply because some girls in class were laughing and joking about you being his girlfriend....afterall she was the one who asked him out! She had no idea that asking a boy out was asking him to be your boyfriend, or at least she says. Personally I don't care, I'm still mad! She treated my child, her supposed best friend, with mean words that she knew would hurt him. I had thought she was a nice girl, but puberty has hit and I'm not sure what to think of her anymore.

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