A year ago I would have a knot in my stomach every time the phone rang while my son was at school. I was sure it would be the teacher or the principal calling about something he had said or done. Every afternoon I would check his folder with that same knot in my stomach because sometimes the teacher would just send home a note instead of calling. I knew that Orion was behind in his work, I knew he was struggling to get things done, I knew that the teacher was sending him out to recess with his workbook, telling him he had to sit on the sidelines and work rather than play. He hated school, he was miserable and would often come home crying about someone lying about something he did when the sad reality of it was that he just didn't realize what he was doing!
A year ago I was getting called in because he would be found swinging on bathroom stall doors, slamming doors in kids faces, yelling at other children, making little girls cry. He was loud and obnoxious, he was distracting to the class, he was mean in the lunch line and couldn't stand still to save his life. He was rough in gym class, he was a terror on the playground, he lost all but one loyal friend. This time last year I was very worried about my boy....worried and sad at the same time. He would walk home with me and cry....literally cry because he didn't understand why he couldn't keep his big mouth shut HIS WORDS NOT MINE. He would cry because he had said something to someone and it upset them, he was sorry he had hurt the other kids feelings and didn't understand why the other kids were staying away from him. He was deeply saddened by the fact that kids would tell the teacher things that he was doing or saying but he was sure he hadn't done or said those things. He would say to me "Mom that's mean, why would I do something so mean?" It saddened me to know deep down inside that he honestly was not aware of what he was doing and saying...the ADHD was controlling him, not the other way around.
But a year ago we did not have a diagnosis, we just had moms gut instinct and a teacher telling her how meds had made a major difference in her own daughters life.
So a year ago I went against my husbands best intentions and desires, I went against my mother-in-laws gut instinct and instead listened to myself. I called the pediatrician and asked what I needed to do to have him evaluated, what did I need to do to find out if my child had exactly what my gut said he had ADHD. She told me what hoops I had to jump through, the papers I needed to get from the school, the forms that needed to be filled out and what the steps would be. I contacted the school about a CONNORS report and got the questionaires from them. My husband didn't want to fill it out, he didn't think Orion needed this, he thought I was just soft and not tough enough with my discipline but he humored me and filled in the little circles on the paper. In the meantime I began researching and I gave Orion coffee every morning before school, it seemed to help. I sent the parent questionaires back to school and a few weeks later received a report back. I took the report to the pediatrician who looked at the numbers and said he was "under the radar" His number came in 1 too low for ADHD, then I got his report card from school and it totally contradicted what the teacher had reported on her CONNORS report...I took that to the pediatrician and told her I wanted Orion on meds, he needed this. She suggested we see a child psychologist who would make the final decision, was Orion ADHD or was Orion just bad at home and not disciplined well enough. That appointment took a month to get, the psychologist is apparently extreemly busy! Finally in July we managed to get in and see him and after 1/2 hour talking to me alone and another 1/2 hour observing and talking to Orion he agreed with me...Orion was definately hyperactive and had trouble staying on task, he was ADHD! FINALLY, a real diagnosis and an "I TOLD YOU SO!" for me. Mind you, it's not necessarily the I told you so I always dreamed of having, but finally I had someone else agreeing with me. It wasn't my fault, this wasnt a case of a too soft mom, this was pure and simple out of my control and out of Orions control. In August we started meds, I had done my homework, I had been giving him caffienne and paying attention to how much I gave him everyday. I told the doctor how much coffee he was drinking and how it was helping him and they came up with ADDERALL XR, within a month we had the proper dosage and Orion was a different boy. The psychologist said we should be a spokes family for Adderall because it was amazing the difference we saw. The school saw a difference, the teacher said she would never have pegged him for an ADHD child and even some of the kids started commenting on how much he had changed from 2nd grade.
Here we are, a year after we started all this and now I have a wonderful, happy boy. He has friends again, he has regular playdates and he has kids calling him once again to invite him to their house to play. We still struggle here and there, in the evenings when the meds are wearing off it can get rough, his weight is a struggle so occassionally we have to give him an "adderall vacation" so that he'll eat enough food to maintain his weight. When he first takes his meds he can get pretty bouncy as it kicks in and then when it wears off he can get moody but overall the end justifies the means. He's happy, he feels better about himself and who he is as a person. His grades have skyrocketed and now he's getting all A's and B's and the only thing he needs improvement on is completing his tasks on time...he gets them done, just not always in the time alotted.....which is why we pulled the 504 that makes it a rule that the teacher has to give him that extra time to finish up.
A year ago I was right and this year my son has proven to the world that there's nothing like good ole' Mommy Intuition! Listen to your hearts girls, no one, not a single person in this world, knows your child/ren like you do! When you think something isn't right, chances are it isn't! It's not 100% but it's pretty darn close and today even my husband and mother-in-law will happily admit.....I was right, they were wrong and they should have listened to me a long time ago!