My Tickers

Thursday, October 14, 2010

There she sits, alone on the wooden swing. Her bowl cut dirty blonde hair is messy, the dirt on her face is smudged with tears. Her glasses sit perched upon her face crookedly, her shirt is torn and looks as though it hadn't been washed in many a days. She sits leaning over herself, hugging herself as though she has never been hugged by another. She is clearly suffering, in pain, but no one knows why. She will never tell this dirty little secret because if she did that might be the day she dies....and in her heart she knows she must survive!

That little girl wants someone to know her story now

That day it had been a fun one. Her best friend and she had come up with the perfect plan to get together and play after school. They would each write letters to the others mother saying that it was ok for the little girl to ride the bus to her friends house to play for the afternoon. They had signed their mothers names and thought their plan was fool proof. The little girl was a little nervous, mother never let her go anywhere, not even across the street to play with the girl over there. She was always told she had plenty of brothers and sisters to play with and didn't need to go to other kids houses.

That afternoon she gave the note to her mother. She told her mother that her friend wanted her to come over and that it was ok with her mother. The mother took the note in her hand and read it, then she picked up the phone book and found the phone number for her friend. The girl thought to herself "oh no" and she knew she was going to need to hide. She thought frantically, trying to think of a place she could go where her mother might not find her, she knew she was in deep trouble. Her stomach turned as her mother clearly got an answer on the other side of the line, she could feel her heart pounding as her mother found out about the note she had sent home to her friends mother. As she tried to step away mother grabbed her by the hair on her head and held her there...too late she wasn't fast enough!

As the phone was hung up the girl began to immediately beg for mercy. She said how sorry she was, that it had been her friends idea and she just went along with it. She cried out as she was thrown to the floor knowing that the pain had only just begun. The mother screamed at the child, mother was embarrassed, the girl had made her look like a fool and she was not in the least impressed. She was crying as the mother yelled "Stop crying! You cry, you get more!" but the girl could not stop crying and so the mother kicked her in the ribs, in the stomach, the girl curled into a ball hoping she could protect herself. She was kicked  in the back, in the legs, anywhere the mother could kick. Then when it stopped she was picked up by the hair on her head and thrown out the door where she was told to get out of her mothers sight. She staggered down the steps and over to the edge of the house where the wooden beam held the swing.

And so there she sits on the wooden swing, sad and crying and clearly in pain. She suffered 2 broken ribs, numerous bruises and another blow to her self esteem. She would never gt to go to that friends house, nor to any other friends house. She never again attempted to trick her mother like that , she had learned her lesson.


I've been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting this past week. I have listened to Sissy tell me about her boyfriend who hit her so hard he knocked her over and sprained her hip. She left him, told me she wasn't going to go back unless he got help...she was back living with him within a week. She said all the classic things...he hadn't meant to do it, he loved her, she loved him, she couldn't live without him. She wants to help him get better. I don't know how she can live the life we lived yet live with a man who abuses her and hurts her. I don't understand how she can't be stronger than that.


And a good thought for today...because  this is a special day to me :) Today is October 15th....15 years ago my husband came home from work, got down on bended knee as I washed some dishes in the sink and asked me to be his wife. I'm so glad I said "YES!"


Have a great weekend everyone. Remember you don't have to be a victim, you too can be a survivor. It's all in how you look at your life....will you remember the bad things because they make you who you are or will you look at them to know what not to do and how they make you what you are becoming? You can be what you want to be, who you want to be, you are not destined to be the victim unless you make it your destiny.

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