WARNING: This post may seem cold hearted to some, if you are offended STOP READING! I need to get this off my chest!
I think I'm going to give up, I can not stand to watch my efforts go to waste! I have tried to talk reason, I have tried to make her understand, but some people just can not be helped! Some people are just pathetic and sad and have warped views on the world. I have been lied to for the last time!
I'm of course talking about my Sissy. Don't get me wrong, I love her, she's my sister afterall, but this is the last straw! About 4 months ago she sent me a text that she was hiding out in her van, apparently the guy she was madly in love with had a bad habit of bashing her head off the floor. She had finally decided she needed to get out of there and go into hiding because she supposedly feared for her life. She left him, left her things at his house and went to live with a friend of hers in another state. They had been high school sweethearts and he was still madly in love with her so he of course took her in. She sent texts that she was so happy there, she was never ever leaving, she was where she belonged. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She texted that she was going to get a gun and learn how to shoot properly because she feared for her life still. Her ex had been sending her threatening messages on her phone, telling her she had made a huge mistake leaving him. She was so scared that she had her oldest boy go to the ex boyfriends house to collect her things that he had left out on the porch because she was too afraid to go back herself. Then the holidays came and she started to get depressed because her kids weren't texting her as much, they have their own lives and they never sent her a text without her sending one first. She complained that she hated the holidays because it only reminded her of how her family had fallen apart. I felt bad for her, but I had a lot of my own concerns as well. I had just lost my main source of income and I didn't know what I was going to do about paying bills and I was stressing Christmas presents and money. One day while cleaning, she found an engagement ring, her high school sweetheart was intending to propose on New Years Day. She freaked out big time! She told him she couldn't get married, it wasn't fair to him when she was so messed up. She continued to sink and wallow in her depression. Then the other day she decided she was leaving, she told me she was still madly in love with her ex. I tried to tell her all the reasons she shouldn't go back to him, tried to remind her of what he had done....she said he did it out of desperation, she called it a "crime of passion" She also said she wasn't going back to him, that she was smarter than that but that she still loved him and she couldn't help that. My gut told me she was lying. Then I found out she had definite plans to head back to Ohio, she said she needed to be near her kids, that they kept her grounded. She said she was staying with one of her "adopted" kids (in other words a friend of one of her kids) until she could get her own place.
Yesterday she left her high school sweetheart and all day I waited to hear that she had arrived safe and sound, when evening came and I had heard nothing I began to worry. I sent her texts asking if she was ok, no replies came. I contacted her high school sweetheart who informed me that she had sent word at 11:30 in the morning that she had arrived but he hadn't heard from her since. I sent a text to her daughter to see if she had heard from her...her daughter didn't even know she was moving back to Ohio. Her daughter tried to call the friend she claimed she was staying with...the phone had been disconnected. I mentioned that I was worried she might have gone back to her ex and her daughter said she wouldn't have been that stupid. I messaged her other daughter on facebook and she had known that Sissy was thinking about moving back but didn't know it was definite. She too tried to contact her mother....and then sent me a message that Sissy was indeed with her ex!
Honestly I don't understand how she can do this. Of course her high school sweetheart tells me to just be happy that she's happy...I can't do that. She has lied to me and placed herself back into a dangerous situation. Her high school sweetheart says maybe he changed...over 4 months? I doubt it! People like that, guys who have habits of bashing their girlfriends heads into the floor...they don't change. And even if he did somehow change, it does not change the fact that she lied to me outright! She told me she was not going back to him, that she was staying with someone else. It's not like I could have stopped her...I may have disagreed but I really couldn't do anything to make her not go....yet she lied to me and then did the exact opposite of what she said she wasn't going to do. Honestly, I have been lied to by her for the last time..I shall not believe anything she says to me ever again without first seeing the proof. I can't believe someone who grew up in our world would CHOOSE to go and live in that situation! I have always said...I don't care how much I love a man or how much he loves me, if any man ever laid a hand on me I would be out. Even right now, if my husband laid a hand on me I would leave even though we have been together almost 21 years! There is NEVER an excuse to strike someone, there is never an excuse to bash a persons head into the floor. That's why domestic violence is against the law! If she wants to choose to live that life, she can do it without me...I'm all done. I will be here and talk to her but I will not sympathize the next time he beats the crap out of her and nearly kills her....and believe me there will be a next time!