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Sunday, August 22, 2010

The time has come for change

OK laugh if you want but my son will be 10 years old in a little less than a month and he still sleeps in my bed.

I know, I know, he should have been in his own bed say 10 years ago but it's not so simple when you are me.

First of all, Orion was a every 2 hour around the clock nurser. This means that literally every 2 hours he woke up to nurse, he refused a bottle and would take nothing but the real thing. So being the kind of mom who wanted to do better than her egg donor and needed her sleep, I laid my son in bed with me, left the window open to his kitchen and slept wonderfully while he fended for himself. He didn't need help latching on, he didn't need help finding it, he was very capable of doing it himself and so I allowed it. I would briefly wake up when he would latch on, but I would fall back to sleep while he nursed and then he would fall back to sleep after me. He nursed for 19 wonderful months, and finally stopped on his own but by then he was rather used to sleeping in moms bed safely snuggled in between mom and dad. He would start out in his crib, but by his first birthday he was very capable of monkey climbing out and making his way across the hall to my room all on his own. He would just crawl in between us and go right back to sleep and so it became the routine. I needed my sleep, daddy needed his sleep so instead of fight with him we allowed it to happen. As the years went on, the pattern continued and then I started working nights and it only got worse. Orion wouldn't be asleep when daddy went to bed and since I would be working all night long daddy kind of liked having someone cuddle up with him and so Orion started going to bed with dad. I stopped working until 6am because it was making me sick not getting enough sleep and  Orion going to bed in our bed was such a routine it was allowed to continue. It was easier than fighting after a long day. By the end of the day, after having yelled at him all day for poor behavior it was just easier to finally be nice and let him settle down in our room.

And so it continued. Last year we bought him a brand new mattress of his choosing, we bought him brand new bedding of his choosing and we tried to get him to sleep in his own bed. He got sick with that H1N1 flu and all was lost as he ended up sleeping curled up with mom while she fought his outrageous fever and worried day and night because it was the flu that killed. Then I got it and didn't have the energy to fight with him and so he continued to sleep in my bed. All was lost....and so it continued.

Last night Orion was having some bad growing pains. He was thrashing his legs around and suddenly kneed me in the base of my skull. He kicked me in the kidneys and basically left me feeling his growing pains right along with him. Poor hubby got a good thrashing too and we have decided that it is time for the bed to go back to being a 2 person bed and for the boy to go across the hall to sleep on his own.

I know that this is a common problem with ADHD children, I have spoken with many other mothers who reluctantly admit they have this issue, 10 seems to be the age where the ties can be cut and the child can start truly sleeping in their own room all night long. I can only hope that I can figure out a way to make him comfortable and happy.


From Blogger Pictures

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