This past week we went on a family camping and biking trip to the beach. It was good to get away from the real world and relax with my two favorite people. Of course, as always happens, I found myself looking back on my youth and realizing how much I truly missed out on.
When I was my sons age, there is no way we would have gone camping in a tent and made campfires. We didn't roast marshmallows and make S'mores . We didn't get to ride bikes for miles on end until we hit the beach and then spend hours at the water running and playing and riding the waves. No, my egg donor was not that cool! She was actually afraid of the water and we weren't even allowed to go into the local brook when it was 6 inches deep. I had so much fun watching my son have fun and a very small part of me began to actually feel sorry for my egg donor...can you believe that? I truly felt pity for that woman. She totally missed out on so much by making me miss out! She didn't get to hear the laughter of her child, she didn't get to see a smile cross my lips, she didn't get to watch her children have total relaxed fun. No, she spent every single day beating us down, keeping us unhappy and sorrowful. She reveled in our misery because misery loves company. She totally missed out on seeing stuff like:
A loving smile from her happy child
Her child roasting marshmallows by the fire looking so tired because of all the fun that was had through the day
Smiles from a loving husband and child at the same time
Relaxing beside a roaring fire
the list goes on and on
But most of all, I can guarantee you that she never got to see this
A genuinely happy smile on my face!
All I can say is "It's her loss!" She didn't care to put that smile there and she did everything in her power to make sure it was never there. She didn't allow me to feel happiness and love and in turn she missed out on something amazing. I get to see it and feel it every single day from my son and I really do feel sorry for her for never getting to enjoy that sensation. I guess I must be growing up because instead of feeling only hatred and anger I'm starting to feel pitty and sorrow for her.
I guess it had to happen sometime!