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Tuesday, April 12, 2011 is the end of yesterday, and the beginning of tomorrow is the end of yesterday, and the beginning of tomorrow

Wise words spoken by a wise Big Brother. Big Bro is what I have called him for pretty much forever, although he was not one to carry his heart on his sleeve, he had subtle ways of letting you know that he loved you. I don't think I ever actually heard the words "I love you" come from his lips to my ears or if I did it was so rare that I can't even remember it, but I chalk it up to the fact that he too was hardened by the world  we grew up in. It is those rare moments where he let me know that I was loved by him that I hold onto and remember because truly he is the bravest and most wonderful person I will ever have the honor of knowing! My Big Bro, my protector, my silent hero, a man I will never, ever, forget!

One of my most treasured memories involving him was when I turned 12 years old. It was my first birthday in foster care and the first birthday to get recognized on my day. Up until that year I had to share my birthday with Big Bro because he was born on the 1st of the month and I was born on the 5th of the month. 4 years and 4 days separated us but we had always celebrated together. I was saddened when I went through my day and I heard Happy Birthday from everyone I knew except for Big Bro. He had not even acknowledged the day once and I wandered up to my bedroom to cry. I think that I would have been happy if only he had recognized my day, it was him that I looked up to, him that I loved beyond all others. Hell, at that age I was wishing that my Big Bro wasn't my big bro so that I could grow up and marry him...seriously! I'm so not kidding about that! He truly was my first crush! I loved him more than he probably even realized and he had not recognized my special day. I opened the door and there, sitting on my bed near my pillow was a little stuffed tiger. The note simply said Happy Birthday, I love you! Big Bro had indeed remembered me, he even loved me, he just didn't show it the same as others. He was quiet, he was subtle, he was my hero!

So I will heed his words! I will put them onto a sticky note and hang it on my wall. These words are the words of a very wise man My Big Bro! is the end of yesterday, and the beginning of tomorrow

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