So onward with my thoughts for this week :)
This week I have been doing a lot of thinking about sports and other childhood group activities how my egg donor would react if I asked to join anything. I wanted to be a Brownie, she said NO WAY! I wanted to play soccer or basketball, she said NO WAY! I wanted to do something, anything, that wasn't at home but I always received a solid no every time I asked about anything or brought home a letter from school telling her about it. She had her usual lame excuses...no money, no time, I needed to be learning new songs not off playing like some ordinary kid. One of her favs was that I didn't need to join anything because I had all my brothers and sisters to play with. But still I longed to join the group, be a part of something, do something that would make me feel special. Some days, afterschool, I would follow the brownie troop across the field and try to join in. Occasionally my friend Carrie would invite me to join them and the leader would reluctantly agree, but she knew I wasn't a brownie member and so I didn't get to join in on their activities very often. I would just sit nearby listening to the leader talk or watch them work and imagine I was apart of their little circle. In the end I always walked home sad and alone and definitely not a part of anything. It saddened me deeply to be a nobody, it still makes my heart ache when I think about that sad little girl I used to be. I look at her almost like she's a stranger some days and I so long to reach out and hold her, give her something she never had...but alas I can not because she is me and I am all grown up.
So what got me to thinking about all this??? It's simple, Orion is going to compete, once again, in the Massachusetts Youth State Championship for candlepin bowling. I spend so many hours at that bowling alley with him, encouraging him, and watching him, he simply amazes me! He has the highest average for boys under the age of 10 in our bowling alley. He was top pick to bowl in the competition. He will compete in the individual tournament this Saturday and then next Saturday will be the Doubles and Teams tournaments. Last year he won 1st place Teams, 1st place Individuals, 2nd place Doubles, Highest score for a single game AND Highest score of all games combined! He did AWESOME! I was so proud of him and this year we're right back in the same scenario and although he's nervous about having to hold his title, he's also very excited because he just seems to be a natural! This kid started bowling when he was 5 years old, after his first time he begged to go back. I put him on a league and he simply excelled! He seems to be a natural and when he's in his groove....WATCH OUT cause he will kick your butt! This isn't just Mama talking either lol He really is pretty awesome for a kid that is only 9 years old.
Anyway, if I had asked my mother to take me bowling when I was his age she would have said no instantly. She certainly wouldn't have let me join a league and wouldn't have spent at least 1 or 2 days a week down there watching me bowl. She wouldn't have made sure I made it there every single week just to be sure I get a perfect attendance award and if there was a scheduling conflict taken me down earlier so I could bowl off early and still get my perfect attendance award. Nope, she would have just told me to stay home and roll a ball at some old tin cans and play with my brothers and sisters and learn new songs. But on the other side of the picture, she has no clue what she was missing out on! She missed out on the pride I feel as a parent when I see my son excelling at something he truly enjoys doing. She missed out on the bonding experience of comforting her child when she failed to get the score she wanted and then the celebration when it was reached. She missed out on a lot, because I am sure I could have been good at something if only she gave me the chance to try. I love that I am able to give Orion his chance and I enjoy encouraging him and reminding him how amazing he is to me. I love to watch how my words can change his whole attitude, like when he feels he just can't get it right and I look him in the eyes and say "I believe in you" and suddenly he can do it, he can get that score he was hoping for, all because I made sure he knew that I believe in him and I know he can do it! That's what a good parent does.....that's not what mine did at all!
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I do everything the opposite of her, I ask myself "what would the egg donor do in this situation?" I find the answer and do the opposite because then I know I can't go wrong and Orion will be a better person than I am today and me, I will have succeeded where the egg donor failed!
Well, there ya have it, my thoughts for this Thursday. Finally, let me say this....enjoy your kids and make sure they know you believe in them. Do everything you can to never be referred to as "the egg donor"
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