Picture Post

I took these photos on my cell phone, they aren't the greatest quality but I like them none the less and wanted to share.

See my hubby and I noticed the other day that Orion is changing...at least his face is. He's maturing, looking less like a little boy and more like a young man. He's very quickly becoming more and more handsome and in just 174 days my boy will be in the double digits...he's going to be a pre-teen!!! Of course we can tell he's already starting puberty, his voice crackles and often times when he's talking his voice is low and sounding more "manly". I know we have many years of the tween age to get through and this process of changing from boy to man is not something that happens overnight, but it's happening and it's kinda happening too fast for this mama to handle.

Where did my baby go?

From Blogger Pictures

Phone update...

Just had to share that the cell phone gods have smiled upon me and had mercy on my soul! They have seen fit to release the phone of all condensation that was in the screen and the volume is coming back quite nicely as well!

From Blogger Pictures

Note to self.....

Next time you have a relaxing drink and decide you need to go to the bathrrom....take your cell phone off your pocket! I didn't do that and the poor cell went for a swim in the mighty throne LMAO! I got it out pretty fast, dried it off and used the hair dryer on it in hopes that it wasn't totally shot to H E Double Hockey Sticks....but it was not really fast enough! The phone works ok, I can still call and text and take pictures. There's a little condensation on the inside edge of the screen...but it's a lot less than it was so it looks like it's going away. The biggest thing is that now the volume is shot! I can barely hear it when it rings and chimes and when I called my voicemail, it was a little more difficult to hear because of the volume....but the volume is turned all the way up! It's so not what it used to be....and the worst part this phone is only 5 or 6 months old....and no I did not buy the extended warrantee incase I dropped it in the toilet :( Silly me!

So now I am hoping and praying to the cell phone gods that they have mercy upon my poor little soul and heal my cell phone of its laryngitis so I can hear my nifty ringtones that I just put on it! Seriously, so not fair here! I mean, yes I have been wanting a QWERTY phone that will make texting Big Sis even easier, and yes I have regretted getting this one that does not have the QWERTY keyboard, BUT I can't really afford to drop the $200 or so on a new phone! Hopefully this one will dry out and when it does it will have full volume once again...if not I'll have to start saving my pennies so I can get myself a newer, better cell phone :)

From Blogger Pictures

FREE stuff alert!

Ok so I think I need an addictions annonymous group or something because let me tell ya, I have found myself getting addicted to a few things lately....I already told ya about my addiction to posting on here, and I have this addiction to texting my sister, and now my newest addiction RINGTONES!

I found this website that I simply LOVE it's phonezoo.com If you like ringtones and even better FREE ringtones, then you need to check this site out! I love having different ringtones for the people who call me on a regular basis, that way I know who is calling before I even get to the phone. The problem is that ringtones in general will either be A) the lame ones that came with the phone or B) Something you get to download but it'll cost ya $2.49 plus whatever you pay for the internet usage to download it. (at least that what it is with my carrier AT&T) There are some websites that charge a membership free but you get to download as many as you want, but those often only have the option to send it to your phone and then you again, have to pay for the internet usage to download it. That's what's so awesome about PhoneZoo.

PhoneZoo is completely free. You register with their site just like you would facebook or anything else, you then have access to make your own ringtones or choose from literally probably thousands of ringtones that are made by other people. You can put in any search word and it can be found! There's even ones from tv shows and movies...I found ringtones that were the animaniacs theme song, the A-Team themesong, you name it, you're gonna find it! AND to top it off, you can save those to your computer and if you have a nifty phone like mine you have a memory stick in it that you can also connect to your computers USB and download them onto your memory stick that you stick into your phone and voila....COMPLETELY FREE RINGTONE! If you don't have a nifty phone like mine with expandable memory then you can always just download it to your phone and pay for the download time if you need to. It's not as good of a deal, but still a better than paying for the ringtone AND the downloading.

As an example of the perfect ringtone find...the thing that made me so excited about this website was finding one titled "SISSYPOO" and it's this little girls voice saying "That's my Sissy over there. Sissy I see you, Hi Sissy Poo" As I explained in a previous Thoughtful Thursday post my sister calls me Sissy....so I downloaded it and put it on my phone as her ringtone :) There's also a rap one that sings "Your sister's on the phone, your sister's calling you" and a couple other lines, I have that one for a switchout when I want to change it hehe

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And just incase anyone is wondering, no I am not being paid to review this site, nor was I approached to advertise for them in any manner or form! I simply was excited to find this site and since I know a lot of people like ringtones and they also like saving money, I thought I would be kind enough to share :) If you do visit their site I would love to hear how you feel about it and I hope you find the perfect ringtone for your phone!

From Blogger Pictures

Another snowboarding season has passed

and I am not afraid to say I will miss it! Finally, after 10 years of waiting, I can say that we are a snowboarding family and we will all be anxiously waiting for opening day 2010 when we can take our boards and once again ride down the mountain!

Yesterday was our last day on the trails, there weren't many left to ride on and even those had a lot of bare patches and icey patches and thin cover to say the least. We saw the begining of mud season in the parking lot and on the access road, the warm sun glistening off damp earth. It was a day to remember though, a day where I watched my husband and son ride top to bottom together with me, a snowboarding family riding with smiles and laughter flowing from us. It was a day to remember as I watched my son connecting turns down pretty steep terrain and not riding on a single green trail since there weren't any to ride on. He has fully transitioned to an intermediate rider, he can handle the terrain, he can handle riding on steep stuff and flat stuff, he can ride around bare patches and over icey patches without crashing. He did wonderfully and at the bottom he tagged up every single run. We rode the chair together, we rode the trails together, we had a great day together as one happy snowboarding family!

There's a song by RUSH called "Time Stand Still" that says everything I felt yesterday...I was really wishing I could just pause time and hold onto the moment just a litle bit longer.

From Blogger Pictures

It must be allergies

because today I woke up clear headed and feeling great....it's snaining (snow rain mixed) outside and there isn't a bird in sight! I even drove the wild child to school and the dog to the kennel and not a single sniffle, not a single eye itch, nothing! So yeah I have come to the conclussion that that miserable feeling the past week has been fully due to the warmer weather bringing back those little pests and their nasty dander!

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In other news, I forgot to mention that Orion feels really good about that essay MCAS test that he had on Tuesday. He came home from school with an actual smile on his face and said it was one of his best school days EVER! What happened was he got a prompt that they had actually used for a practice at school so he already knew what he could write about, what he had done previously and what he had left out previously as well! He said he did his 5 paragraphs, made sure to restate his prompt (which was to write about a day off of school) in both the beginning and final paragraphs and he felt pretty good about his figurative language. He's not sure if he used it 3 times like he was supposed to, but he knows he got it in there at least twice! He's not sure how many adjectives and adverbs he got in there at all, but he's sure he got a couple into the story. The best part of the day...he finished by noon as did all the kids in his group so the teacher let them play games for the rest of the day until it was time to go home at 3pm! Three solid hours of playtime because they are allowed all day to complete the essay and there was nothing else for them to do. Instead of making them read for 3 hours, the teacher opted to allow them to play games like UNO and hide n seek. Now we have to wait until fall for the results to come in the mail...that's the hard part. We won't know his score until somewhere in September or October. Next week he'll have the rest of his English MCAS test (it's a big test and it takes all week to do) and then in May he'll take the math portion of the test, which again will be an all week event. He and I aren't worried in the least about those parts, he's already tackled the hardest part so the rest should be "easy, peezy, pie"...that's what his kidergarten teacher used to say hehe

From Blogger Pictures

Thoughtful Thursday.....

This is going to be a short one because I feel like my head is about to explode! No, I'm not angry, I just feel like crap! My sinus' are raging mad right now, head is throbbing, and sudafed is doing nothing to kill the pain! I've even tried the cocktail my Big Sis told me about....mixing naprosen, motrin, asprin, tylenol (not all at once but different variations like naprosen and asprin or motrin and tylenol) I tried naprosen and asprin because that's what I have in the house at the moment, my head is still in pain! I am sure this has a lot to do with my allergies and it's why I HATE spring!

See spring brings back the birds and me and birds, we just don't mix! If I am enclosed in a house with birds my lungs close up so I can not breathe ( a rescue inhaler will help a little but if I stay too long...like longer than 5 minutes I will not be breathing period!) My eyes will also swell up making it hard to see out them. It's really a deadly reaction! Now when the birds are outdoors, like in springtime, it's not quite as bad but still bad enough. My sinus' swell, my lungs work extra hard and I have trouble breathing without using my rescue inhaler every couple of hours and even then I will get this really yucky cough from my respiratory system swelling. I end up sounding like I have bronchitis for awhile until the birds all move along to the woods or where ever they go to make their nests. My eyes also itch and burn like no tomorrow and I want to scratch them out of my head! Once the birds clear out and stop congregating on my back lawn I'll get better and do fine, but for now it's not a fun ride. So that's why this post won't be super long!

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Today is Thursday, so I'm supposed to write about my evil egg donor or my evil sperm donor or their evil minions who raped me and hurt me. I hate that life, I hate those memories, I hate that I had to live through it....but I did just that! I lived, I survived, I rose above the evilness and somehow found a world that was completely the opposite of that. It's like I woke up one morning and realized I had been dreaming for years and it was a really bad nightmare! Sometimes I wish it was just a bad dream, something that never actually happened, soemthing that happened in my head only and now that I'm awake I can move on in normalcy. But I know it was real, I know it wasn't some bad dream and even when I want so badly to believe it was there's still those scars that show the reality to my imagination.

There's that scar on my back when I was whipped so badly that it tore my skin, the one on my head hidden in my hairline where I was hit over the head, there's those internal scars that are not visible but I know are there none the less. Like the ones in my ears that the doctor swears could only be from tubes being put in or someone stabbing something into my ears repeatedly....yeah I never had tubes. I had an egg donor who would hold me down on her lap while I screamed bloody blue murder! She would take a bobby-pin and stick it in my ear telling me she was trying to get rid of my ear wax that was supposedly in there. She would tell me if I didn't hold still she would poke out my ear drum...yeah she was that mean! Now I have scars inside my ear that hinder my hearing some, at least it's not enough to cause a ton of hearing loss!

and of course there's those scar "downtown" caused by the evil brother and the evil sperm donor. The scars that almost cost me the life of my son and cost me any other children I ever wanted to have! The scars that linger in silence...those are the worst in my opinion! I wanted to have more children, I wanted that so badly...still do as a matter of fact. But alas, it was taken away from me, stolen before I was even aware that I would want children, stolen when I was a little toddler....still even a baby as I was only 2 years old when it started! How I survived, how I managed to even carry one child is nothing short of a mystery to my doctors! It should not of happened, I should not have had the ability to carry a child at all, say nothing about carry one (albeit on strick bedrest for most the pregnancy) to full term and beyond (Orion was born at 41 weeks!) Every single day I feel so blessed to have him in my life!

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Ok that's it I need to go lay down and put an ice pack on my head, hopefully it will help this headache go away and slow down the sinus pain some! Have a great weekend....we're supposed to be going up north for one last weekend of snowboarding as a family but I'm not sure I'm really feeling that happening. Sadly, I think I'll be staying home resting and trying to feel better.

From Blogger Pictures

Only time will tell

Tonight I tucked a very nervous little boy into his bed and read Harry Potter to him until he fell asleep. He's nervous and anxious because tomorrow is his big day, the day he has been working towards, practicing for, the day that shows how much he has learned from his mom. Tomorrow he will go to school and have all day to write a 5 paragraph essay on whatever topic they give him to write about. He will not know the topic until he opens the test booklet and he would only say that he hopes it's a good topic, something he can relate to, something he can really write about.

Tomorrow he will have to write without mom, without anyone prompting him but himself. Tomorrow he will have to ask himself the questions I have asked him and write down his answers. Tomorrow he will have to find a way to come up with an awesome piece of work all by himself and he is nervous, anxious, scared even because tomorrow will answer the big question of how much he has learned.

See my hubby thinks I have done too much prompting, that I have helped him write his papers too much, that I have only hindered in him learning how to write. Hubby thinks that my style of teaching isn't actually teaching him how to write, but is teaching him how to copy what mom wrote. I feel he is learning, that he is doing better and that he can pull this off on his own. I feel I have tought him how to write better.....only time will tell who is right and I really hope it's me that wins :)

From Blogger Pictures

He scored 103!!!!!

I just have to share this because it's SO amazing to me! This year for MCAS testing the 4th graders have to do a creative writing piece. They are given their "prompt" or topic and they have to write a paper on that topic. The paper must be 5 paragraphs minimum, each paragraph must have at least 6 sentences. The first paragraph must restate the prompt and tell about the story. The next 3 paragraphs must be details about what was in the first paragraph and the final paragraph must conclude the story, restating the prompt in a creative way. The students must also use "figurative language" throughout their story. They must use a simile in the 2nd and 4th paragraphs, must use a different form of figurative language in the 3rd paragraph. They must also use 4 to 6 adjectives and/or adverbs in each of the body paragraphs as well. When all the points are added up they can score a total of 100 points and then they get 5 points bonus for every well written paragraph over the required 5. They have been doing practice papers every month since school started...this last one blew me away!

Orions paper missed a couple of adjectives/adverbs in his 2nd paragraph and the teacher felt he could have had a slightly stronger lead so for the main part of the paper her got 98 points, but then he wrote a total of 6 paragraphs and he scored the bonus 5 for that and ended up with a total score of 103!

You have to understand something here, at the beginning of the year we were lucky to see Orion writing 1 or 2 paragraphs total. Each paragraph but a couple sentences and there was no figurative language at all!! Not a single bit of it. He writes facts and that's it, he doesn't give you the details to let you "see" the story. So at the end of last term Orion did not score well on his creative writing grade, he was truly struggling and the teacher and I together came up with a plan to teach him to write better. I have always loved writing, I can paint a picture with words when I have to. I have been known to be wordy and too detailed, but I knew that I could get him to at least write a passable paper if I was allowed to work it the way I thought he would learn it best. So he started bringing home assignments where he would have 1 week to do this creative writing assignment. He had to brain storm, write a rough draft and then a final. I would have him verbally brainstorm with me and I would write down the details as he spoke them. I would prompt him more asking how he felt, what did he see, what did he hear? I would put these things down on the paper for him. Then we would both take those brainstorming ideas and write a paper using them. I would write it with everything I had, paint the picture he gave me as he wrote his rough draft. Then, when he was finished I would read his rough draft out loud to him. THEN I would read my rough draft to him. After he had heard both stories we would talk about how my figurative language showed him the story and not just told the story. After discussing it and making comments on his rough draft as to where he needed more details, where he needed to change things to show instead of tell, and of course pointing out spelling errors etc. I would send him back with his rough draft only and have his re-write his paper. If the second draft came back lacking a lot of details I make him write a third time...again pointing out where he can add more, what he can do to make this a better story. At the begining of the year he would score a total of 25 at the most, and that's why we knew he needed help. He lacked so many important details. This term he has gotten the lowest of an 85 and now the highest score of a 103. Now granted, that's with all my hard work and prompting dragging these details out of him, and at school, when he does one of these assignments on his own in one day he scores around a 60 BUT 60 is way better than the 22 he scored just 4 months ago!

So, without further ado, here is Orions story! The promt was to write about the first time you tried something new:

I remember the first time I tried to use a chairlift like it was yesterday, in reality it was over a year ago. I was nervous and scared waiting in the lift line. The ride up was relaxing and really not bad at all. Getting off was way different, it was not as easy as I had hoped it would be and not what my instructor had described. It all began with my instructor telling me that he thought I was ready to ride the Barnyard Chairlift.

When my instructor told me he thought I was ready to ride a chairlift we headed over to the learning area lift, the Barnyard Chairlift. He told me how to get on and off and it sounded easy enough, but I felt like I had butterflies dancing in my stomach. I was SO nervous! We skated up to the waiting area. I watched the people in front of us get into their lift chair, then we skated forward to the loading dock. We looked over our shoulders to watch for the chair and when it reached us we sat down. The chair lifted us up into the air over the trees. We pulled the bar down over our heads and we began my first ride up the mountain.

The ride up was relaxing and quiet. I was up over the mountain trails hanging on a big cable sitting in a chair. It reminded me of being on the ferris wheel with my mom at the fair. As I came to each lift pole I could feel the bump - bump - bump of the chair going over the wheels and hear the squeaking of the gears. I had time to look around at the trees and animal footprints in the snow and watch other snowboarders and skiers going down the trails. I could hear the swish of the boards and skis as they moved through the snow. At the next to last lift pole we lifted the safety bar and prepared to unload. Once again I felt nervous and those butterflies came back. this did not look as easy as it had sounded!

As we came to the unloading dock, I was supposed to point my board straight forward, put my back foot on my board and stand up. I was supposed to glide smoothly down the ramp with only one foot clicked in. What I did instead, because I was scared, was turn my board a little sideways so I could skid down instead. Unfortunately I learned the hard way why you aren't supposed to do this and I fell. The butterflies in my stomach sank like rocks. I stood up and skated over to my instructor embarrassed and frustrated. He told me not to feel bad, the same thing had happened to him his first time too.

My first time using the chairlift was a scary experience. I didn't really understand what to expect so it made me nervous. The only thing I was sure of, was that the ride up would be the easy part and the most relaxing because there would be nothing to do but look around at the people and listen to the sounds. I didn't really know how to get off the chair because I had never seen it done and had only been told what to do. I did fall down, but according to my instructor that happens to a lot of people, even him.

It's been over a year since my first time on a chairlift. I still fall sometimes, but not very often. Just this past weekend I used the chairlift almost one hundred times and I only fell twice. Both times were because I didn't want to hit the person who got off before me and hadn't cleared the path yet. I don't feel those butterflies anymore, they've flown away. I guess they just don't like the cold mountain air.

From Blogger Pictures

Thoughtful Thursday.....

Look at this photo, the girl in the back left with the long dark hair is Big Sister #1, in front of her is my Grammy Niles and in front of Grammy Niles is Big Brother #3. The older boy in the middle is Evil Brother (aka Big Brother #2) on his lap is Lil' Ole Me. The two girls next to us are Older Sister #2 (in the orange shirt in the back) and Big Sis (aka Older Sister #3 in the pink shirt in the front). The only person missing from this photo is Older Brother #1.

I've spent a lot of time texting older sister #3 recently. She's really having a rough go of it with all her problems and it's really kinda scary for us both. She's so strong, so bull headed and so amazing to me....all at the same time.



I know she's strong because she survived our childhood 3 years longer than me. Well not 3 full years....more like 2 years 11 months and 15 days (give or take a day cause I'm not positive on that lol I figured it out a long time ago and in my old age, my memory often fails me lol) ANYWAY, she suffered too, and although I had my zone to hide in, talking to her on the phone and texting with her has helped me to open a window into that zone and I am finding things that I had completely forgotten or didn't even realize!! It's like when those multiple personality people are introduced to their other personalities on a Lifetime movie. I'm finding out things about our lives that are pretty scary and WOW it's a whole new batch of crap to deal with! On the other hand, it's also brought back memories of my fun times with my big sister, and I've come to remember that she used to call me Sissy even when we were very little. It's what she called me from her toddler days when I was first born. She wanted to hold Sissy, wanted to play with Sissy, wanted to dress Sissy up in dolly clothing lol I've found that close bond again, the thing that kept me going, the thing that made me want to live to tomorrow so that I could experience it again....time with my Big Sis! I looked up to her all my life, she always knew what she wanted and she was getting it one way or another!



That brings us to her bull headedness. She is a stubborn one, always has been. I remember when she was a kid we knicknamed her Geronimo because she was a girl who would stamp her feet and give you that look of death and stand her ground to get what she wanted! She always amazed me because she never caved, never gave in or settled for second best. She still doesn't. This whole thing with her shaking, and twitching and all her other symptoms. She never stopped seeing different doctors, she never gave up on finding the answer. She knew what it wasn't and when the doctors told her something she knew was wrong, she simply found another doctor. Now 5 years later, here she is getting a real answer that is believable and that she feels might actually be right. She stuck to her guns and held out until she heard the right thing...and even then she's stubborn. The doctor prescribed this medication to her that was listed not only as a heavy duty pain killer but also an anti-depressant! She was pissed thinking the doctor had tricked her or lied to her just to get her to take these anti-depressants. I looked the medicine up on google and assured her that it is also used as a heavy duty pain killer for people with fibromyalgia. Although she doesn't appear to have the fibromyalgia, she is in a lot of pain and this might actually help her until they can figure out what they need to do to fix her deformity between the 4th and 5th vertebrae. But through all this, she's still strong, taking it in stride, just dealing with it as it comes. She simply amazes me!



She may be strong and bull headed, she may sometimes drive a lot of people up the wall because of her stubborness, but in the end she gets what she wants, she gets the right answers and she is still smiling in the end :)

Big sis was about 4 years old in that photo up top....this is her today!

And even though she looks way too much like the egg donor, I love her to death and hope that no matter what comes in my future I can be as strong as her! As for the WOW memories that are coming back...I'll save those for another Thursday because today I only want the pleasant happy thoughts of my Big Sis :)

And just for reference I was about 1 year old in that photo up there and this is me today

From Blogger Pictures

It's beginning to look a lot like springtime

Every where you go
Take a look at my video
showing once again
a little boy scooting down the road

It's begining to look a lot like spring time
short sleeves galore
but the prettiest sight you'll see
are the buds that will be
popping out once more!

From Blogger Pictures

UH-OH I have an addiction issue........

NO it's not my sons adderall...I know a lot of mothers get hooked on that but that is not my issue at all. Hell, no way would I rather take his meds than give it to him...I would go crazy with his wild ways lol

Nope, my addiction is blogging! Especially since I changed the layout in here I just wanna come look at it all the time and the more I look the more I want to blog. Just today, as I was driving down the highway, I saw a license plate and I thought to myself "I should post that on my blog!" The plate read:

YBGLUM

Why be glum?? What a great question eh? Why should we be glum? We as humans need to look for the brighter side of things, find the light at the end of the tunnel and seek the sunshine. When the doom and gloom is pressing down upon us we need to rise up and find a positive in our lives. I'm not talking religion...personally I have a hard time with the whole God thing (if you've read my previous posts you know what that's all about) I personally don't know if there is this almighty merciful God out there watching over us...if he is out there why didn't he have mercy on me and my siblings as our egg donor tried to kill us or when the sperm donor was raping us?? OK OK that's another post for another time...like Thursday...but you get my drift as to my problems with religion and why my feelings on finding the positive has nothing to do with religion or god. My decision to look for the positives is for my own personal comfort and to help me set a better example for my son!

My son...he's my own personal positive! When I look at him I see nothing but happiness...ok I occassionally see red when he's in full blown ADHD mode, unmedicated and bouncing off the walls (or worse climbing the walls literally) but underneath that red I see happiness. He is my living proof that there is life after abuse, there is survival, that life does go on and perhaps one reason I suffered my childhood abuse was so I wouldn't lose my cool with this kid who is challenging to say the least! He is everything I wish I could have been...innocent and carefree!

So as I passed the car with the plate that read YBGLUM I found myself asking myself that question and finding all the positives I could about my life. I wanted to share it with whatever readers I have because it made me want you to ask yourself....

Why be glum when you can be glad...isn't that a much better feeling?? I think it is...what about you?

From Blogger Pictures

WOOHOO I see the sun!

There's a big yellow ball in the sky that resembles the sun, mother nature got over her SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and stopped bawling her eyes out. Finally I can enjoy sun and warmth and a dry basement once again...well at least I can when it fully dries out down there. Luckily it's tiles over the concrete so it should dry up by the end of today as long as I keep the fan blowing around down there.

The rest of my day should be pretty uneventful. I have to go out food shopping and get that over with, put hubby's work clothes away that have been sitting in the dryer and possibly even get outside to get some yard work done. There are tons of leaves and branches in my back yard from all the wind we had with the rain storm and someone (aka ME) has to clean it all up.

In other news around here, Orion wants to quit Cub Scouts. He's tired of all the "work" that comes with being a higher level scout and not really enjoying it anymore. He used to enjoy scouts when it was all den meetings and fun, but now it's all about work and doing stuff that he really doesn't enjoy....so he wants to quit. Personally, I'm ok with it, I understand that kids try many different things and they don't stick with everything they try. Orion isn't the type of kid to go from sport to sport, he's more of a thinker than a sports person. The only sport he has ever enjoyed was bowling. He enjoys just shooting hoops in the driveway, but not the actual game of basketball, he enjoys kicking the ball around the yard but not the actual sport of soccer. That's just the way he has always been and probably always will be. Hubby wants him to do sports, he says it's good for him to compete with other kids, personally I think forcing him to do something he hates is the wrong plan and will only end badly. I don't believe in forcing a kid to compete in a sport if they truly don't want to...besides it's a waste of your money if you're going to sign him up only to have him be miserable and fight you every time you try to take him to practice or a game.

So when Orion told me he really wasn't enjoying scouts anymore and really couldn't care less about doing it anymore I had a hard time telling him he had to complete the year...afterall we already paid the fee for the year that covers him all the way through the summer. But he doesn't want to go to den meetings, he doesn't want to go to pack meetings, he just wants to snowboard or bowl or even just stay home and watch a movie with me. What can I say? I don't like dragging him out and fighting with him only to end up embarrassed because of his pouty behavior....because trust me if I forced him to go he would make sure EVERYONE knew he was only there because his mom forced him to go! Call me a push-over if you must, I know I'm soft on him, but seriously some battles just aren't worth it. I have found with my little man that the old saying "Pick your battles" is very true and I have to pick and choose what lines to draw and what lines to get soft on. When it comes to bedtime, respecting his mother and father, internet and helping out around the house, I'm mean! Orion used to tell me "Mom you're not just mean you're a MEANER!" I take pride in being a meaner on some things, but others I know I'm not even remotely mean....and this is one of them. I just go woth the flow and let him make the call as to whether or not he will continue to be a scout. Why should I waste my time and energy trying to get him to den meetings, pack meetings and other scout events only to have him be miserable when honestly I don't feel like the leaders really care all that much about my son so much as they care about the money and politics of it all. Here an example of what I mean:

This past fall the scouts had a fundraiser for the pack. They sold popcorn like they do every single year. the popcorn is pricey and the kids stand outside the stores getting people to buy the popcorn or make a donation. Orions first trip out he ended up alone because his partner never showed up. He made a ton of money for the pack that day, 1/2 in popcorn sales and 1/2 in donations. The slip even said that the donations would go to the troops overseas, but a lot of people said to give it to the pack and walked away. The pack leaders wife asked if Orion wanted to do it again and he said sure, he would help out. He worked with another boy the second time and he made a lot more money....again this time about 1/2 the money collected was donations. Now here's the deal...the popcorn sales have incentives for the kids....if they sell a certian amount they get a prize, and the more they sell the better the prize. Well when Orion finished up on his second day he was $13 away from the bow and arrow set he really really wanted! He went to his neighbor and asked them to buy one can of popcorn so he could get that bow and arrow set. They bought the popcorn and Orion was excited that he had made enough. We handed in our packet with the totals and the desired prize. A few days later the leaders wife calls me to tell me that Orion can not get the bow and arrow set because he hadn't sold enough popcorn, that over $200 of his funds had been in donations and therefore that went to the pack. She was not donating to the troops because the people who donated were under the impression that the money was going to the pack and so she was keeping it for them. Since the money would not go to the popcorn company Orion didn't qualify for the prize. He had to choose from 2 levels down and get some cheesy prize.....he was exceptionally disappointed and all she had to offer was that he was helping the pack!

It's things like that happening that turned him away...what turned me away was the fact that Orion got sick and then I got sick , then we started snowboarding. Orions den was preparing for something called the Klondike Derby, which is some winter outdoor activity the older scouts do every year. Orion had no interest in it and it fell on one of our weekends away so Orion chose to snowboard over going to that. SO since the den was busy preparing for that he figured there really was no need for him to be at the meetings. He missed a total of 3 meetings...one for the derby, one because he was sick and one because I was too sick to take him. Anyway, his den leader sent me an e-mail and basically this is what it said....

"Orion has missed the last 3 den meetings. As I am sure you can understand we rely on the members dues to pay for the supplies for the meetings and outings. Could you let me know if Orion will be attending next Tuesdays meeting? Thank you"

That was it, no question as to whether or not everything was ok with us, no wondering if we were sick or if something had happened, nope, just we need your dues! She couldn't even call us to ask, she sends an impersonal e-mail, I was so not impressed! That's when I decided it was all about the money...the next den meeting Orion did go and I sent him with his dues for that week and all the weeks he had missed and a note saying I was sorry she didn't get her dues in a timely manner but we had been sick and I figured it would be best to not send a kid with the swine flu to the meetings.


Well I really gotta get off here, I actually feel better having got that scout thing off my chest lol I need to get my day going and get my shopping done.

From Blogger Pictures

Still sick and tired of the rain

I seriously wish it would just stop already! We have had nearly a foot of rain in the last couple of days and it's still coming down out there! Why can't this be snow so we could at least enjoy it? The basement is a mess and I am so glad I didn't move my office down there this past summer....on the other hand, this has shown me the one corner of the basement that does stay dry regardless of how much rain comes in so if I do put the office down there this summer as intended, I will know exactly where to build! Hubby and I are trying to look for the positive lol We are now positive that the office needs to be on the southern corner of the house....basically right where it is right now, just dropped straight down.

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The goal is to move the office so that we can make changes to Orions room. See right now he has his tv, computer, video games etc in his bedroom. We want to move the office so that we can give him a playroom/electronics room and move all that stuff out of his bedroom. That way when he has friends over they can play in this room and not in his bedroom PLUS when he goes to bed at night he won't be able to sneak in tv or internet.

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See that's been a big problem lately. He had headphones so he can't disturb me with his noises when I'm working, but he plugs those into the tv or the internet and he is nice and quiet. BUT if I am working I can't be checking in on him as much. Just this past week I told him internet, tv etc off at 9:30pm. I went in to check on him at break around 10pm and the tv and the internet were both on. So mean mom took away the internet access for 2 days. We bought him one of those USB plug in wireless internet connections so that I could do just that and boy was he mad at me! I gave it back to him tonight and told him if it wasn't off at 9:30 he would lose it for 4 nights. I went in at 9:35 and the screen saver is on the computer, the internet is turned off and he's sound asleep in his bed :) Lesson learned!

From Blogger Pictures

Another update on my sister...

She called me today as soon as she heard from her doctor, the doctor told here there is a deformity between her 4th and 5th vertebra. The doctor said she didn't want to talk about it over the phone, and requested that my sister come in to see her face to face to discuss what will need to be done, but most likely we're looking at some kind of surgery to fix this. My sister thinks it has to do with osteoperosis and the onset of menopause, but we will know nothing for sure until she meets with the doctor.

From Blogger Pictures

New layout

The other day, while talking to my friend Britainy on the phone I mentioned how I loved her new look over on her blog and she mentioned how she didn't have to re-do all her widgets. I asked about it and she told me how there is now an option to keep the current widgets you have when changing your layout....so I went looking for something new and pretty to put on here and this is what I found :)

I am thrilled to not have to change the widgets, now lord only knows how often I'll want to change the layout lol

From Blogger Pictures

Laptop no. 2

So the other day hubby was playing with his laptop that I told you about and one of the keys popped right up and almost fell off! He had the thing just over a week and already it's got a broken key....a good excuse to return it and get his money back. So he goes off to staples to return the $500 broken laptop and ends up with a brand new Asus laptop that cost twice as much money!! So here I sit in the living room typing on this laptop that costs more than my desktop, is all bling-bling and let me tell ya....I'm rather impressed! It's made for gamers, the keyboard is a lot nicer to work with, and the best part is I haven't run into the opening of more tabs without me realizing it and the screen is a lot bigger so it'seasier for me to read :) I could actually see me playing with this on occassions like this where I am home and hubby is at work and the boy is at school.

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In other news, the rain has not let up in days and I have a swimming pool in my basement now. It sucks having to use the shopvac every 1/2 hour to keep it at bay! Yesterday morning we woke up and the water was halfway across the basement and the cat litter boxes were in water!!!! YUCK!! Hubby and I spent the better part of the morning sucking water out of the basement and then going down through the day to keep it cleaned up. Today hubby is at work so it's just me, I went bowling this morning and in the 2 hours I was gone the water went halfway across the basement yet again. I got it all cleaned up, but I am sure by the time I finish typing this out I will have to go clean up more water. I am not enjoying it in the least and hope the weatherman is right when he says this should be the last of the rain and come tomorrow we'll be seeing signs of sunshine and blue skies. I don't look forward to yardwork, but it's better than sucking water out of the basement anyday!

From Blogger Pictures

Daylight savings...not good for me!

I totally can not stand changing the clocks ahead an hour every spring. It's not so much that I miss out on that extra hours sleep, it's more along the lines that time goes by faster and I feel like I'm running behind (something that I TOTALLY hate!) I am one of those people who is always so worried about being late that I tend to be early for everything. I hate the feeling of rushing and when we change the clocks ahead that's exactly how I feel. By the end of the day Orion is in bed late, I'm rushing to work and I feel like crap because of it!

What I truly wish is that they would stop making us change the clocks, leave time alone and just live it it being dark a little earlier at night and being light a little earlier in the morning! Seriously, it's not nice to mess with people like me who have a hard enough time with life in general!

From Blogger Pictures

I keep forgetting to share this....

Right before we headed up for our 3 day weekend, I dyed my hair. The greys were starting to creep through again and I needed to cover them up since they like to grow right smack dab in the middle of my bangs! It's one small section, but it's right in the front and is extreemly noticable! So I opted to change the color more than try to match my roots like usual, afterall, that's half the reason to color anyway, you can completely change if you want to. The box said it was light auburn and the picture looked like it would be a nice color on me so I went for it.

Orion came home from school and saw my hair (which was now a very red color instead of the soft auburn on the box) and he says to me:

"Mom you are so beautiful! I'm not just saying that because you're my mom either, it's true! If you weren't my mom I'd ask you to be my girlfriend! I hope when I grow up my wife will be just as beautiful as you."

From Blogger Pictures

Thoughtful Thursday.....

I have these saddle bags sitting on my butt/hips area, they bother me because I have had them ever since my bedrest with Orion and I can't seem to get rid of them. I eat less, they grow, I eat more, they grow, I try walking, snowboarding, dieting, drinking gallons of water, but nothing seems to be able to remove these things off my backside. Then today I did a search on the internet, thinking maybe there's something I've missed, maybe there's a secret to removing saddlebags....what I found made me LOL because it took me back to my childhood when I used to laugh at my mother.

See mother had this suit, we all called it the "moon suit" it was some kind of almost plastic material and it was silver/grey. It was supposed to make her sweat and lose weight....mother was a chunky one and she was often making minor attempts to trim down. Perhaps she was bored of the men she already had and wanted to attract someone new, I don't know, but whatever her reason she would put on this suit and she would look like a big silver/grey blob walking around the house day and night! We all laughed at her because we knew she was hopeless! She didn't really try too hard....she sat on that big bottom whenever possible, made the kids do the housework and yardwork, and the biggest sweat she ever broke was probably when she was beating us or yelling at us or dragging us by the hair on our heads to toss us into the closet. She didn't watch what she ate, she drank straight cream in her coffee (and lots of it I might add), she was not health concious in the least bit! BUT that suit was going to fix her and if anyone touched it, oh my what a beating you would get for that offense! That was a HUGE no-no!

So when I saw that ad for a "sweat suit" I had to laugh because she was actually stupid enough to believe the hype and thought that wearing that silly looking suit around the house was going to make her lose weight! Thank goodness I know better and know that all you would lose is water and although you would lose a litttle weight when you lost that water, you would most certianly not see the truly desired results in the end!

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Speaking of my stupid mother...and yes I fully believe I have every right to call her stupid, if you don't think that's nice then go read another blog because when it comes to my mother she doesn't deserve any niceness at all! You won't find that lovey dovey I'm thankful for all my mother did for me crap here, I envy the people who can feel that way about their mothers...me I can not! I talk to older sister #3 a lot about our childhood, we help each other deal with all the crap and figure out ways to get beyond the worst of it, but when we do mention her we simply call her "The egg donor" Honestly I think I might actually start using that on here because that's all she really was, she wasn't really much of a mother at all unless you could use this definition I found just the other day on Google....seriously funny story here:

So I was trying to figure out how to describe the egg donor and how she was not much of a mother. I went to Google and typed into the search box "definition of mother" Google changed that to "define:mother" the second definition made me totally laugh out loud!

Definitions of mother on the Web:

•a woman who has given birth to a child (also used as a term of address to your mother); "the mother of three children"

•a stringy slimy substance consisting of yeast cells and bacteria; forms during fermentation and is added to cider or wine to produce vinegar

OMG I totally found the definition for my mother LMAO A stringy slimy substance...it totally cracks me up whenever I read it or think about it. I think it fits her perfectly, sounds disgusting and nasty...just like my egg donor!

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Well you be sure to have a great weekend, the warmer weather is approaching and I can get back out to walk the dog and maybe get rid of my saddlebags or at least make them a little smaller lol Have fun with your kids and try hard to not be a "mother"

I also wanted to add a couple of pictures from last weekend...one of me and Orion at the fireplace ...it's actually the same photo twice here but I liked the antique look so I'm posting it....it's my blog I'll do what I like lol The other one is just Orion but I simply love it! He is such a handsome boy if I do say so myself :)

From Blogger Pictures

Norton Security Suite I flippin HATE you

So last week my cable company sends me an e-mail telling me that they are switching the free anti-virus software and if I want to continue to have that stuff for free from them I will need to switch as well. I had McAfee and was very happy with it, but they were switching to Norton Security Suite.



I go ahead the other day and switched it over, afterall it's free so I'll take it right? Immediately when it finishes downloading I go to get on the internet and my homepage is now a Norton website...they flippin changed my homepage without my permission. OK minor inconvienence so I switch it back to what I had, no big deal. BUT then it performs a virus scan and a Definitions Update and tells me my computer has to be restarted. I restart and guess what...yep they changed my homepage back to theirs! I changed it back again, rather aggrevated but what choice do I really have??? Today I turn on my computer and when I come back in the room I go to get on the internet and guess what...they had done another Definitions update and virus scan and changed my homepage back to theirs again!!!



So I go online to the support area and they say the wait for phone support is 30 minutes but I could use chat.. so I opt for that. I open chat and put in what my issue is: "Norton changes my homepage every time it does a definitions update and I don't want that to happen. How do I change it?" I wait for the rep to come on and she asks what my issue is with the system so I type in again what happens and that I just want to know how to change that so it doesn't happen since I can't seem to find it on the Norton control panel.

Her response "I still don't see what the issue is!"

So I replied "The issue is that I don't want your program to decide what my homepage should be, I want to decide that. If this can not be changed I will simply delete your program from my computer and go buy McAfee."

So after 15 minutes of trying to explain to her my issue and why it's an issue to me, she asks if I have the free version from Comcast, to which I replied yes and she informs me that it in a different department and she needs to transfer me.

I get transfered to this person who wants to access my computer remotely so she can check my computer. I tell her there is no reason for her to do that, I simply want to know how to turn of the automatic homepage change. She then tells me to open internet explorer and that I need to reset it. I ask what that has to do with Norton and does Norton control my internet and she said yes it does. I told her I didn't want to change all my customized settings on my internet, I just wanted to stop them from changing my homepage. She tells me to open my Norton control panel. I do that and suddenly my internet is gone. She is disconnected from me, my network connection warning comes on saying I have no internet connection. Funny thing is....all 3 of the other computers in this house still have internet access only they do not have Norton yet! My computer is the only one that had been switched over yet.

My gut feeling is that I opened the Norton and she accessed my computer remotely and shut off my internet. I can't prove it, but once I deleted Norton from my computer I was suddenly able to access the internet again just fine! Coincidence??? I think not!

Honestly, I will be going out and buying the McAfee and I will be letting Comcast know my opinion on them changing to Norton without consulting with their customers or giving us the option to keep what we had.

From Blogger Pictures

Good morning

Last weekend while we were off snowboarding, hubby bought a new laptop and I have finally snagged it and am now relaxing on my couch listening to the news and typing this out at the same time! Of course the kiddo gets up and immediately is offended because I get to play with the laptop and he doesn't lol

See hubby has been home the past couple of days and he was testing out his ability to play his online game Everquest on this thing. No one has been allowed to play on it since he bought it solely for that purpose and if it wouldn't play his game well he was going to return it. I personally was hoping it would play the game so that I could play on it while he's at work hehe He's finally back to work so I get to play a little too.

I will admit that the keyboard is a lot smaller than I like and the mouse thingy in the middle of the keyboard is way too sensitive for my personal liking. It got touched by my sleeve and suddenly I have a box popped up for something, say nothing about how it somehow manages to get me set to italics without me realizing it. I guess it takes some getting used to. My guess is that I will use this more for checking e-mail and use my real computer more for posting since this thing keeps ticking me off and it's way too early in the morning for such stuff!! For instance while I'm sitting here typing suddenly I realize I have a new tab open and I'm typing into the search window and not my blog.....guess that's what I get for looking away while typing but still annoying none the less lol

Anyway, just wanted to check this new toy out and I think my initial opinion is I should save it for after my coffee.

From Blogger Pictures

504 review today

So today I had Orions 504 review. If you don't know what a 504 is, it's kind of like an Individual Education Plan (IEP) basically it's the special accommodations that he needs because of his "disability"...Orions "disability" is his ADHD. So every year, by law, his plan has to be reviewed to be sure that he still needs his special accommodations and make any changes that are needed. Hopefully when he's older he won't need a 504 but for now, this is what we need to do to ensure he succeeds at school. This is all mainly because he needs a different setting and different rules when it comes to the standardized MCAS tests.

During the MCAS testing, the regular classroom teacher is not allowed to interact with the children at all. The teacher can not redirect the child to be sure they stay on task and the kids do not get breaks to stretch or get a drink of water or anything like that. Orion really needs those breaks so that he can stretch and relax a little and he needs someone who can redirect him and get him back on task when he starts to daydream...thus the need for his 504. When it comes to testing time Orion will be moved to a classroom with a smaller group of 4 or 5 students in it. The teacher will be able to interact with him to the extent that they can talk to him and get him back on task. They will not answer any questions regarding the test itself, but they can at least keep him on task and make sure he completes the work.

I left the meeting feeling pretty good. The teacher is seeing major improvement in Orion and seeing him complete his tasks on time without too much prompting. In the morning he needs a kick in the butt to get him going but other than that he is actually working independantly and making strides towards success! Raising his meds up 5 mg and giving it to him an extra 1/2 hour early has made a huge difference in his school work and his attitude! Although we still struggle with the anger at home, he is not angry at school and not having outbursts or actively showing aggression! He is keeping his frustration inside and not exploding at the other children! THAT is a major change from last year and I was so pleased to hear it. The school social worker is going to continue to welcome him into social group so he can build more friendships and learn how to work with other children better.

From Blogger Pictures

3 day weekend...

We went up north snowboarding again, had a great time and Orion really improved drastically. Prior to this weekend he could connect his turns part of the time but was still resulting to the "falling leaf" skid on his heel edge a lot and still very much nervous about getting onto his toe edge. He kept saying it wouldn't go, that he couldn't get the board to do it when he wanted it to and he was struggling with a consistant heel, toe, heel, toe all the way down the trail without catching an edge and falling or just resulting to the skid move.



Well this weekend it clicked for him and by the end of his second day he was actually conecting his turns all the way down the trail. It's still a slow paced skidding carve, but he is not falling down. The amazing part of this was that the morning of that second day he was hit really hard....every mothers nightmare that luckily turned out ok. I had him over in the beginner area trying to get him carving more and working on getting some speed when this girl comes flying down from behind. She hit me so hard that I spun around a complete 360 degrees! If I had not been a better rider I would have been on the ground, but I kept myself up and by the time I had spun around and was facing down the mountain again Orion was about 3 1/2 to 4 feet in the air, the girl was laying on the ground down below. I just about lost it right there...I didn't care if that girl was hurt or not! Orion came down landing flat on his back crying. I was freaking out, I was literally in tears with fear and worry that he was hurt. I got down to him and he managed to sit up. He was ok, everything moved and the girl was laying there below us not really moving much. Her father came down behind us to see if we were ok and appologized for her hitting us. She was probably about 16 years old, but she was a big girl and trust me we both felt how fast she was flying. It had been her first time on ski's and she had no clue how to stop. It all turned out ok because all three of us were ok in the end, just scared and sore but nothing broken. Orion, at first didn't want to snowboard anymore after that. He was pretty shaken and upset so I took him back to the lodge where we found Dad and I had Dad give him a little pep talk and help me get him back out on the trails riding. He needed to get back out there or the fear would win. After a good hour we finally managed to get him back out there riding again, even though he was rattled a bit. I talked to him at the top of the trail and told him when he wanted to go to his toe edge all he had to do was lean forward so that his head went over his toes and the board would follow. That's all it took...he connected 30 turns in a row! We did a couple more runs after that and sure enough he connected his edges heel to toe over and over again all the way down the trail!

Day three, he did it all day long, we did about 30 runs and he didn't fall once and didn't do the "falling leaf" skid at all! He was one exhausted little boy though, but he made a huge step and I am so proud of him! Here's a video hubby managed to get of Orion finishing up that very first run after I told him to lean his head over his toes! The first part of the run is too big to attach so you don't see as much of his carving and connecting turns, but you do get to see a little of it and you get to see his awesome toe edge stop that he couldn't do at the beginning of the day!


From Blogger Pictures

1035 word post

I know it's a bit blurry, but it's my cell phone and he's fast so it took me a few tries to even get this shot! Orion bowls candlepin and has an average of 77!

From Blogger Pictures

Got news on my sister

The doctor looked at all the blood work, the MRI results and the CAT scan and has decided to order a very specific set of x-rays. The doctor no longer feels this is Parkinsons or MS, but instead thinks this is most likely a slipped disc/pinched nerve very close to the base of her skull causing all these problems. When she sleeps in a wierd angle her nerve gets pinched thus causing the back spasms, the pain, the numbness in her body etc. She had the x-rays this afternoon and will meet with the doctor again at the end of the week to discuss the results and if there is any repair!

The best part of all this, even better than it not being Parkinsons or MS, is the fact that this doctor is giving her answers and is not telling her this is all in her head or that she just needs to go see a psychiatrist!

From Blogger Pictures