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Monday, September 28, 2009

All my babies are sick......

My fur babies that is.

It started with Merlin sneezing and being kinda lethargic, then he started breathing through his mouth and stopped eatting and drinking. I resulted to dipping my finger in water and dabbing his nose so he would lick it off. After 3 days of this (by which time I thought he was going to die or something) he started to get better, stopped breathing through his mouth and started eatting and drinking again. The next day Martin started sneezing :( Now Martin is on day 2 of breathing through his mouth, Sparky started sneezing yesterday and today started breathing through his mouth, Rex has been sneezing and on and off breathing through his mouth as well as Clawdia. Those 2 (Rex and Clawdia) worry me the most. Everything I have read on the internet about kitty colds and flu is that it is hardest on the elderly and the young...just like humans. Rex is 12 years old, not really elderly but not really young he's obese! Clawdia is barely 6 months old...definately still a kitten. She's tiny and can't really afford to go 3 days without eatting! I hope they all pull through this ok...poor Martin seems to be the worst off right now, he's not only breathing through his mouth but also drooling and gasping for air after a sneezing fit. According to the vet it's viral and there's nothing they can do...again just like a human cold or flu. I have him crated in a separate room with a humidifier hoping it will help.

Saturday, September 26, 2009


Orion has been getting a lot of unwanted attention at school concerning his hair...many of the kids (especially the girls) were picking on him because his hair was longer than anyones in the class. When I had taken him to get it cut right before school started they had put him in long layers and said they couldn't really do all one length because of his tall we went ahead and let them do it that way. He has been complaining a lot this past week about how only the girls have layers and all the boys who have longer hair all have it one he asked for a cut. I took him today and here's the result...basically he wanted it to be all one length but still on the long side. He's very happy with the results.

I took these on my phone, so that's why they are lower quality :)

Friday, September 25, 2009

I just have to share because I am so proud!

Here in Massachusetts we have what is called the MCAS tests. The kids take them every spring in grades 3 through 10 and they have to pass these tests to graduate high school. Last spring was Orion's first year of taking the MCAS tests and he was tested in English Language Arts and Mathematics.

His overall performance level for the English Language Arts was Proficient (meaning he demonstrates a solid understanding of challenging subject matter and can solve a wide variety of problems) The breakdown showed he struggled some with Open Ended Response questions, something I will talk to his teacher about so he can work on that.

His overall performance level for the Mathematics was Above Proficient (meaning he demonstrates mastery of challenging subject matter and constructs solutions to challenging problems) There were 5 different sub-content areas in the mathematics test and he scored 100% on 3 of those!

I am so proud of my boy! I put him in school a year early, everyone told me it was a mistake and that because of his social problems with the ADHD he would suffer in school and if anything I should have held him back! I can not tell you how happy I am to be able to say "I TOLD YOU SO!" I knew he needed to get into school, I knew he was ready and I KNEW without doubt if I waited an extra year he would too bored. My son, who should have been in 2nd grade last spring scored that well on a 3rd grade test....his math amazes me! I am so happy right now I can't wait to see him and hug him and tell him exactly how proud of him I am!!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Thoughtful Thursday

OMG what a week it has been! Let me tell you all about it :)


Orions birthday party was on Saturday, which meant mom was supposed to make a really kewl cake! Friday was supposed to be pack nite for him so I opted to make the cake on Thursday and keep it in the fridge until the party on Saturday. Why not make it Saturday morning you ask??? Well that's because on Saturday morning our electrician was coming in to switch over our service from a 100 amp to a 200 amp service so we had no power most the day. SO Thursday afternoon I whipped up "The Best Pokeball Cake EVER!!" (that's what the boy said tell me, what do you think??)

I know, it's not the greatest BUT concidering shortly before I started the cake I spiked a 102 fever I thought I did pretty darn good!
Friday rolled around and I woke up with fever, chills, body aches, etc...full blown flu symptoms! I stayed in bed all day Friday and called the pack leaders and told them Orion would not be attending the first meeting of the year unless they wanted me to give all the cub scouts a nice case of the flu as a door prize...yeah they agreed with me and told me to go back to bed lol
Saturday rolled around, I slept until somewhere in the range of noon or 1 in the afternoon. Orion spent his morning watching the electrician work, playing on his Nintendo DS next to me in bed and being a very good boy! He was very concerned that he would not be able to go to his birthday party but I told him no way was I canceling that out so I took heavy doses of dayquil, sucked it up and threw him a Rock-N-Bowl birthday party that he's likely never to forget! I lost my voice about half way through, felt totally miserable by the time parents came to pick up their kids at 8pm, but Orion had a BLAST with the other children...I just kept my distance, made hubby take photos, help out around the kids serving food and such, and trust me he was great! The photos turned out mostly blurry because my cheapy camera doesn't take action photos very well and quite frankly it's hard to get eleven 9 year olds to sit still for any length of time lol You can tell they had fun though and that's what truly matters!
Sunday I woke up to completely no voice, still had a fever, body aches etc. I layed on the couch most the day until we had to go over to my mother-in-laws so she could see Orion (since Sunday was his "birthday birthday" as he called it lol) So I went over there and ended up laying on her couch for the afternoon while Orion played with the kids in her neighborhood and had cake and ice cream and opened some more presents.
. Orion off to school and crashed for the day....still no voice, fever, body aches etc. Got up around 2pm, took a shower, had a quick lunch then got Orion from school. Came home and dozed on the couch with hubby while Orion did homework and played quietly......did I mention hubby came down with this flu Sunday so we were both now sick and poor Orion was fending for himself :( I managed to cook him food to eat...hubby and I lived off chicken soup!
Tuesday my voice started coming back, but still not good enough to work. The cough was bad still, fever was down to low-grade and body aches started to fade. I was feeling a bit less like I had been run over by a truck, but the lack of energy was still very strong and I slept through most of that day as well...hubby was right there with me. Thankfully he was actually scheduled to be off work these days so he didn't miss out on making money (since he's the real money maker and I am just's way more important he doesn't miss work if possible!)
Wednesday came around I was feeling half human by I still sounded like Selma from the Simpsons lol Not good enough to be talking on the phone for 6 hours straight so I had to cancel out yet again! Thnkfully I am my own boss and I can get away with doing that...I don't get paid but I won't fire myself either so it's all good in the long run. Hubby dosed heavily with dayquil and returned to work...thankfully he made it through hs day but he fell asleep around 9pm which really is unheard of for him...he's usually up until 1 am and still can function on 5 hours sleep!
Today I finally am feeling like I MIGHT be able to work tonight IF I can drink enough tea, suck enough halls and get my voice fully recovered. For the most part it just feels like there's this big lump of something in my throat...I'm sure it's just swollen vocal cords but still no fun! I miss working and making money darn it! Hubby is at work, boy is at school and I am posting on here because the cable is down so I can't slack on the couch watching America's Next Top Model re-runs...or whatever else might be on.
SO I don't think I'll do an actual Thoughtful Thursday cause I'm just too darn tired from this flu and I don't think wearing myself down emotionally is a good idea. I kinda wonder if last weeks post was enough of an emotional drain to actually make me get sick in the first place...hmmmm the body works in mysterious ways doesn't it????
Anyway, ya'all have a great week, may it be way better than this past one has been for me! Although it was nice to watch my boy play and turn 9 years old, hug him at the exact minute of his birth and tell him how much I love him and how proud of him I am...I just wish I had felt better while it was all going on cause then it would have been the icing on the cake...which IMO IS indeed the best part!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Thoughtful Thursday

Happy Thursday everyone :)
This week I am going to talk about a time when I was 4 years old...this does not involve my mother it involves my older brother #2.
Older brother #2 was 15 years older than me so when WWVA down in Wheeling West Virginia asked us to come perform on the radio live, he got the job of babysitting me. My mother felt that since I was only 4 I would not be much fun in the car, especially since I tend to get car sick on long rides. So big brother #3, big sisters #2 and #3 got into the car with mother and father and drove off leaving me behind to hang with big brother #2.
Big brother #2 was ok at first, he was slightly mentally retarded (no really he was I'm not just being mean) so even though he was 19 he was a bit childish and was still fun to hang out with...or so I thought! That night, as 7pm rolled around he decided it was time for me to have a bath. Now I had already had my weekly bath, so I knew I wasn't supposed to have one, but he insisted that mother told him I should have one and if I didn't do as he said he was going to get on the phone, call mother and then I would get in big trouble when she got me I got into that tub in record timing! He let me play in the tub until the water got cold (unheard of in my youth so woohoo I was happy) and then helped to dry me off...this is where he became Evil Brother.
He dried me off and when I tried to put on my jammies he told me that mother said I was not to wear clothes to bed that night. I was scared since I knew what daddy did when I didn't have clothes on so I argued and fought with him, but he again pulled the "mother card" and told me he was going to call her and tell on me if I didn't obey his every I sucked up my tears and did as I was told.
I was told to parade through the living room in no clothes, to run across the couch, to bounce on the bed, all without my clothes on. As I did this, he took his clothes off and began to encourage himself as he watched my little girl body bounce and run and play. Then he made me lay down on the couch where he proceeded to take full advantage of me. As I began to cry he told me not to, I couldn't help it and so he got off me and went over to the phone and began to dial a number. I begged and pleaded for him to not call her so he hung up and told me all I had to do was do everything he said and he would not call. So I sucked back those tears, went into my "zone" and let him do what my father had done so many times before. After he finished, he cleaned himself up and told me to wash up too. I washed up the the sink with a washcloth and thought that would be the end of it...but he was not finished. He put me to bed and lay down next to me, I prayed to whatever god might be listening to please let him fall asleep and leave me alone even though he had refused me jammies, but god did not listen. He proceeded to rape me over and over and over again all night...and all day...and all night...over and over again for a full 5 days until they came back home!
I distinctly remember, as the blue Chevy pulled into the driveway, him leaning in close, putting his finger over his lips and saying "shhhh it's our little secret"
Sorry, that's all I got today...I can't go on and remember more. I know normally I share at least 2 memories, but that took more out of me than I realized so I'm going to call it quits for this week. You have to understand, as I type these scenes out I remember them very vividly and even though I don't give as many details as run through my brain I can actually see these things happening again. I can smell the smells, I can see it all in full color in my minds eye, its there and it's real. I think that's because I used to go into that "zone" almost like an outer body experience, like it was someone else living that nightmare. I used to study psychology in school, and I remember reading about people who went through stuff like I did ending up with multiple personality disorders and although I don't think I truly have multiple personalities, I do feel I have some minor form of it. I can tell you that if hubby raises his voice or says a certian word in an argument I feel the switch flip, I can tell I'm going back into that "zone" without even thinking about became habit something that just automatically happens when I get scared or upset. It took me a very long time to not slip into my "zone" everytime I tried to have sex with my was very scary for me for a very long time! Luckily he was patient and kind and now it's what it was meant to be and not something that terrifies me. Thankfully, due to hubby being so patient and loving, I don't slip into my "zone" anywhere near as much as I used to and the best part is he can tell by my expression that I'm going there and he stops and pulls me back out. I don't know where I would be without him, somedays I think it would probably be somewhere small and padded.
Well I'm off, I have lots to do the next few days with the birthday party coming up. I'll share pictures as soon as I catch my breath lol

Am I such a horrible mother????

I watched a show on TV about raising kids, please don't ask me the title because much like names and directions....I simply suck that way! Memory is not something I have, I have to write lists, I have to write notes to remind me to write notes...yes indeed I am that bad!!!
ANYWAY, I was watching this show and this psychologist or psychiatrist....some kind of psych-guy was talking about kids and electronics and how parents allow their children too much access. His theory is that kids who play video games and watch TV don't like to read and don't have as active of an imagination and are fatter and lazier than the kids who don't watch TV or play video games or are limited to no more than 1 hour a day of such activities. He even went so far as to say the kids who are limited or restricted from those electronics are smarter than the kids who are allowed to access these things whenever they please and the problem is only worse if kids are allowed these things in their first 2 years of life. His opinion is if kids weren't allowed any TV or video games in their first 2 years of life they would be far better off.....I beg to differ!
See my kid has always been allowed to watch TV, when he was a baby he HAD to be held which did not work well for mom trying to get in a shower and wash her yes I put him in his swing and I turned on the TV and put on Rolie Polie Olie and ran for the shower before he totally lost his mind....and it worked! He loved Rolie Polie Olie the most so that 20 minutes became moms shower time. As he grew I allowed him to watch Sesame Street, when he was 6 months old he discovered Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy and those became his favorite programs to watch. I would record the Wheel in the evening so that I could put him in his pack-n-play in the morning, turn that show on and grab a quick shower. Very quickly I realized that the Wheel was paying off and my 9 month old started pointing out letters CORRECTLY! 9 months old...I'm not kidding you! At 18 months old he read his first word...STOP. It was amazing, we were coming home from the playground, I was pulling him in his wagon and he started yelling for me to stop. I stopped and asked him why I needed to stop and he pointed up to the stop sign and said
"S-T-O-P spells stop! Mama stop!"
After telling my mother-in-law and a few other people this amazing news they said he was just recognizing the sign shape, not actually reading so I put a bunch of 4 letter "S" words on a piece of paper and asked Orion to point to the word stop...which he immediately did...then he proceeded to read the rest of the words on the paper too. After that he continued to amaze me....a year later, when he was 2 1/2 years old he was overheard on the baby monitor reading Harry Potter books to his cat and actually getting the words right!
So you see, I don't know if my kid is just really smart or if that psych-guy was wrong, perhaps if I never let my child watch TV as a baby he would be even smarter...perhaps I somehow dumbed him up by allowing such a thing...or perhaps I knew what he was watching and encouraged his learning and helped him be smarter because I only allowed programs that encouraged learning. With Rolie Polie Olie he learned about friendships, shapes, colors and numbers. With Wheel of Fortune he learned all his letters and how they turn into words if you put them into the correct order. With Jeopardy he learned some random facts that maybe he'll never remember but perhaps someday it will actually pop into place. Even today, as he plays video games on his Nintendo DS, computer or x-box 90% of the time he's reading instructions, learning without realizing it, working on his eye/hand coordination.
So am I really a bad parent holding my child back by allowing him these modern electronics??? I tend to think NO, I am not. I think it's quality, not quantity, that truly matters.

Poor baby boy

My poor kid has his first fall cold. He's all snoogered up, coughing and feverish :( Yesterday I kept him home from school because his eyes were so red I was sure the nurse would take one look at him and send him straight back home....and then about a half hour after school would have started he had a massive case of diarrhea and I was immediately assured that I had done the right thing in keeping him home......can you imagine the poor kids embarrassment if I had sent him and that happened at school???!!!!! Needless to say we were both glad I had opted to keep him home and spare him the emotional scarring that would have resulted from such an incident!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Birthday party planning

Am I the only mother who has terrible anxiety with every single birthday party? I worry that the kids he invited won't come, I worry that the cake won't be what he wants and expects, I worry that he will be off his adderral and therefore he will be an absolute nightmare and scare away what few friends do show up. I worry he won't have a good time or that he'll have a meltdown as he can sometimes have when he gets stressed and things don't go exactly his way. I worry way too much I know, but none the less, I worry!

This year Orion wants a pokeball cake, but instead of just a basic round pokeball, he wants an open pokeball with a pokemon inside. I'm not sure I can do that or that I can figure out a way to make the top stay open and supported. I worry that I won't make it look close enough to a pokeball and he'll be upset. Of course everyyear I have this anxiety and every year I succeed in giving him exactly what he wants but this is new and different and like I said...I'm not sure how to make the top stay up and open. The past 2 years he has wanted a bowling cake and this is what I have created...

He bowls candlepin so I made his cake that style. I pray I can pull off what he wants this year as well.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Only 1 more week to go........

Yep, just one more week until my baby boy is 9 years old! He will turn 9 at exactly 1:10pm on September 20th.


In the next week I am sure to find myself flipping through baby albums, remembering just how little he was and feeling amazed that it's been 9 years! You see his actual due date was today, 9-13-2000, but he was a stubborn one and had to make me wait since I had told him he was grounded 10 weeks prior.

At 24 weeks along I showed the first signs of trouble, spotting and bleeding that was not normal. Ultrasound showed possible placental abruption so I was placed on modified bedrest (meaning for every 20 minutes on my feet I had to have 20 minutes of sitting on my butt) Since I worked at Dunkin Donuts as a floor supervisor I called my boss on the way home from the doctors and quit on the spot. I had never done such a thing before, I would always give 2 weeks notice. This was the first thing Orion changed about me! Anyway, the boss understood that baby came first, said I could come back at anytime and told me to take care of myself and the baby.


At 30 weeks I said good-bye to hubby as I sent him off to work and sat down in my glider chair to relax. That's when I started to feel contractions. I thought they were just braxton hicks, the fake ones you read about, your body preparing for labor, so I didn't worry and I didn't time them....only they didn't stop and they increased in length and pain level. After a bit I began to time them and realized they were only 5 minutes apart and they seemed to be getting intense, I immediately called my OB who told me to time them for another 1/2 hour and if they didn't slow down to go to labor and delivery. Being a first time mom, I didn't want to listen to her so I called hubby at work and told him to come home and get me and take me in, I felt I was in pre-term labor and I was scared. It was at this point that I told Orion he was grounded and there would be no coming out to play until I said so!


According to the OB I did indeed have placental abruption and I was dialated to 4 cm. I was placed on strict bedrest until the end of my pregnancy. I was allowed to go home as long as I only was on my feet long enough to go from my bed to the couch in the morning and from the couch to the bathroom through the day. Hubby had to pack me a cooler that stayed by the couch every morning that included all the food and drink I would need for the day while he was at work. It was very boring (daytime TV bites) but my boy was worth it. Every week I went in for a non-stress test (NST) to check for contractions and heartbeat. I also had weekly ultrasounds to check Orion and the placenta. At one point they told me I needed to double my water intake because he was low on fluid and me drinking would help bring the amniotic fluid levels back up, the placenta kept pulling away a little at a time but stayed intact enough to sustain Orion so we left him in there . Every single week I heard the OB say "I don't know if you're going to make it to next weeks appointment, this baby seems to want out" Orion was head down and I was slowly continuing to dialate.


At my 40 week appointment the ob congratulated me on making it all the way to the end of my pregnancy. She told me I could come off bedrest and I was free to have this baby anytime he wanted to come out but just incase we could make an appointment for the following week to be induced. She told me she thought she would see me before then since I was 5 cm dialated..... Orion opted to wait another week lol


On September 20, 2000 at 7:30am I walked into labor and delivery. I was checked in and settled into a pretty little room. At 8am they started my pitocin drip, contractions started immediately. My mother-in-law came in shortly after they started the drip and was talking about how they had a pool going at her house as to what time the baby would be born..I informed her that I didn't know about time, just that it was going to take 5 hours and 10 minutes! She laughed, probably because most first babies take longer than that but I was sure that was how long it was going to take......I don't know about timing here, things kind of blend together when you're in labor but shortly after the contractions started the ob came in and looked at that little piece of paper coming out of the machine that showed my contractions, she asked me if I was feeling those and I told her of course...OMG they were intense! The nurse standing behind her laughed, so I thought maybe I was being a bit of a wimp and decided I was gonna be tough! I closed my eyes with every contraction, my wonderful mother-in-law rubbed my feet with every one of them (which seemed to dull the pain some) and I was determined to not be laughed at again! After awhile my husband asked the nurse if I could have something for the pain because HE couldn't stand to see me like that any longer! The nurse said she would get the doctor and I would have to be checked first...doc came in to check me and explained it was too late...I was already at 9 cm!


At 8am they started my pitocin drip, exactly 5 hours and 10 minutes later (as predicted by me) at 1:10pm Orion entered this world! My life has never been the same since then and I can't imagine it any other way!

Saturday, September 12, 2009 explained

Sharing something I read that explains life!
On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?' And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.' The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years... How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?' And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.' But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' 'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.

Friday, September 11, 2009


I missed Thoughtful Thursday....honestly Thursday just came and went and I completely blanked on it. Hubby had the day off but Orion didn't so...well let your imagination run wild for a few and you'll figure out how my day started lol I took the night off my work as well and watched re-runs of Greys Anatomy and Private Practice and then cuddled with Orion since he supposedly had a bad dream...I think he just wanted to sleep in my bed and cuddle with me but how can I possibly say no to his sweet little face when he comes staggering out to the living room looking all pathetic and half asleep asking so kindly if I could come cuddle with him cause a scary dream woke him up? And how could I possibly say no when that same sweet face looks up at me and says "I think we would be more comfortable in your bed, mine is too small for 2 people." Yeah I'm a sucker and he knows how to play me......I can admit as much lol So Thursday came and went and I didn't post or even think about my mother for once....ahhh so refreshing!

You see, I often experience things in my life as Orions Mom and I can't help but think to myself "Why couldn't my mother have been like me?" or "How could my mother hurt her own child?" I can't fathom it, I just can't. People say all the time that she must have been an abused child herself, that she was born in 1933 and back then you did as you were told or you got the snot beat out you SO she was only raising me the only way she knew how...I say that's a load of bull****! I was an abused child and the last thing I want to do to my child is make him feel the way I felt. Even before I went into foster care I would constantly think to myself...I will NEVER be like her! When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I had one answer..."I want to be a better mommy than I have!" It's all I ever wanted, saying that you beat your kids because you don't know any better is just an excuse for your own weakness and heartlessness. You know it's wrong, you know what it feels like so why would you ever subject another human being to such torture?? It just doesn't compute...I can't comprehend the concept at all! Besides...she made sure she was never seen hitting us, she made sure we were never bruised in places that could be seen by people and she made sure we didn't cry out so the neighbors wouldn't hear...she knew it was wrong and she knew if she got cought she would be in trouble, yet she continued anyway. When we went into foster care and we had to go into the court and tell the judge if we wanted to go back and live with her she told the judge I was lying, that she never laid a hand on me except to hug me, she swore up and down that she never even spanked. She claimed she used time-outs or taking things away, she would never lay a hand on her child...I never understood how she could stand there and lie to the judges face like that? She would look him square in the eye and lie to him...luckily the judge listened to me and told my social worker that if I didn't want to go home I would have to be kept in foster care because I didn't feel safe there and kids need to feel safe. He saw right through her or he just felt sorry for me, either way I won and was never forced to go back home. I remained in foster care until I was 18 and went off to college. The system may be messed up and there may be some crappy social workers out there, maybe I just got lucky but I got a really good one and Karen was AWESOME! She took good care of me, got me into good homes and helped me through some really rough patches!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Sometimes I amaze myself....a photo story

We have 5 cats ......

Rex the 12 year old

Martin the 3 year old

Sparky the 2 year old

Merlin the 1 year old

And the baby Clawdia just 20 weeks old

We also have a couch that the 5 cats have decided is their personal scratching post....

So today I went down to Jo-Anns Fabric and bought a bit of fabric and made a denim slip cover to go over the entire arm of the couch.

Hopefully the cats won't be able to claw through that anytime soon!

This is a big wrap around couch that fills the entire room so I couldn't make a slip cover for the entire thing, I'll probably make another to match the arm on the other side of the couch even though the cats haven't attacked that one yet.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Thoughtful Thursday

It's amazing how fast time goes, how quickly we get through each day and suddenly we're old and tired and wondering where all the time went. Why couldn't that happen when I was a kid, back when I needed and wanted time to get a move on and get me out of the nightmare I lived. Why is it that times seems to speedup as we get older, aren't we supposed to SLOW DOWN as we age?? Somedays I just don't get it lol
Anyway, here we are on another Thursday, my boy is in school, the cats are chasing each other through the house at top speed, the dog is sleeping at the front door and I'm supposed to be working....only there don't seem to be a lot of calls in the daytime hours so I will just post in my blog and pass the time by putting my thoughts into words for your reading pleasure :)
The other day my son wanted to see my hand, I didn't really know why but he asked if he could see it so I held it out to him. He then told me not to peek and proceeded to pull out a pen he was hiding and write on my palm "I love you so!!" The two exclamation points looked like this =:) just not sideways lol This precious moment took me back to when I was a kid about his age and I wrote on everything!
One day I took a bunch of magic markers and drew all over the kitchen cabinet doors....and I do mean ALL OVER them! I covered them in a beautiful green grassy fields full of all kinds of colorful flowers, a beautiful sunrise, and flowing hills of green. I colored in a beautiful blue sky complete with birds flying by. There were trees and bunnies and over in the corner was a little house with pretty curtians in the windows...I was creative and I was proud of my hard work....mother was not in the least bit impressed!
OK in her defence, I probably would have had a few words with my son if he drew all over my cabinets, I probably would ground him and give him a Mr. Clean magic eraser and make him remove it all...BUT I never, not in a million years, never would react the way my mother did! My mother first screamed and hollered and yelled! Then she got her leather belt and whooped my behind until I couldn't stand, then she whooped me even more. She beat the crap out of me! She stood over me and beat me as she forced me to try to scrub off the permanant magic marker and the more I scrubbed the more she hit because it simply was NOT coming off...that's why they're called permanant markers...they don't come off! Then I was locked in the cabinet under the stairs with no lights, no food, no water, nothing for a full day! I was let out after a day because I had to go to school or someone might ask where I was, heaven forbid if anyone should discover her secrets!
Speaking of school, I remember walking to school as a kid...I was just inside the 1 mile line so I had to walk, I could not ride the bus. This meant that rain, sleet, snow, wind, you name it, I walked in it...uphill both ways! (No I am not kidding!) I lived on one side of the hill at the bottom, my school was on the other side at the bottom so I walked uphill, then downhill to get to school and the same to get home. The majority of the way up the hill from home was basically a straight line so my mother could watch out the window and see me as I walked along. One day, it was cold and rainy and I couldn't see well so I turned around and proceeded to walk backwards so that the wind and rain hit my back and not my face and books. I was rather proud of myself for having made it all the way to school walking backwards and I didn't trip once! I was awesome, I was cool, I was soaking wet but I was happy none the less!
That afternoon I walked home only to have mother greet me at the door screaming about walking to school backwards. Didn't I realize how stupid that was? Didn't I realize I could trip, fall into the road and get run over by a bus? At this point she made me stand in the kitchen and turn my back to the living room and walk backwards through the living room to my bed (which was on the far side of the living room) She had taken it upon herself to spend her day rearranging the furniture just so I would trip and fall and (according to her) learn my lesson. As I tripped over a chair and landed on the edge of the old kerosene heater and burned my arm she dragged me to my feet and made me keep walking...not caring that my arm was hurt, not caring that I had been burned, only caring about teaching me a lesson and making sure I didn't walk to school backwards ever again! By the time I got through the living room I had a burn on each from the kerosene heater and one from the big potbelly woodstove. Neither was bandaged or cared for and the scars are still there to remind me of what an evil and cruel woman she truly was.
And so ends another Thoughtful Thursday! Enjoy your weekend and are only little for a short time. Before you know it they will be grown ups just like you and me and when that day comes will it really matter what they drew on your walls or if they walked to school backwards...I doubt it will and more likely than not you'll miss those days and wish you could do them all over again! Enjoy them while they're young and their mistakes are minor, enjoy those precious moments when they write on your hand "I love you so =:)" and know that from that moment one whenever you look at your palm those words will still be there, even if time and showers have washed them away. Find a way to preserve these times for the bad days of your life, I'm sure it will help make even the gloomiest days a bit brighter!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Here we go...first day of 4th grade

Today my baby boy headed off to his first day of 4th grade!! As I watched him run away from me toward the school with a smile on his face and the wind in his hair I again felt the pangs of motherhood and a tear in my eye. How did my baby boy go from this

to this

In a single heartbeat?
My little baby boy is suddenly a little man, growing up right before my very eyes! Funny thing is...I used to laugh at those mothers who would tear up on their kids first day of school every year, I thought to myself "I'll never be like that" I used to think that I would be the mother who proudly sent her kid off to school, maybe crying on the first day of Kindergarten or Pre-school, but not every single first day every single year...but alas we often find that no matter how many times we say "I'll never be like that" or "My kids will never behave like that in public" we find that we surprise ourselves and this is a perfectly normal way to be. It's not silly, it's not strange, it's motherhood and I'm glad to be a part of it! I miss my boy already, he may have driven me a bit crazy some days over the summer, but he's a pretty fun kid and the house sounds oddly quiet and laughter free. Now I'll go sit, sip some coffee and count the hours until 3pm when I can go pick him up and hear all about his first day of 4th grade!